Category: Lookit!

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Film

Censor ki (bleep) ki (bleep)

How do B-grade films with offensive dialogues and scenes evade the Censor Board’s scanner, if English films are often snipped?
by M | M@themetrognome.in

Bhoop, Goa City and “I didn’t do anything”. Put these random words together and what do you get? A film called Cigarette Ki Tarah starring a guy named Bhoop (I am serious), filmed in ‘Goa City’ (not State, mind it) who offends the Queen with every spoken work in English. Watch the promo of this film only if you’re up for a dare. This torture…err, film  will be released tomorrow.

What baffles me the most is how the Censor Board let a film out that has ‘Cigarette’ in the title, when on the other hand, visuals of a lit cigarette are blurred on television and in our films? It would have been rather funny to see what the makers of this film would have done if the Censor Board had decided to snip the word ‘Cigarette’ from the title.

That’s not all, in one of the scenes in the trailer, the lead actress gives the middle finger to, I’m assuming, Bhoop. With a name like that, and a face to match, he deserves it.

Another character played by Sudesh Berry, (best known for his role in Border. Remember him? No? Never mind), calls Bhoop a ‘Bloody assh**e’. The swear words are not bleeped out. The icing on the cake is the song with lyrics that go, Khadi hogi khaat, zindagi ki lag gayi waat.

Our Censor Board is very stern with English shows on television, but seems to be okay with dialogues and songs as good as crap on the big screen if it’s a Hindi film. Also, English films on the big screen are forced to delete scenes depicting the slightest nudity, despite being certified ‘A’. Apparently the scenes or dialogues in those films are objectionable and unfit even for a grown-up adult.

I was furious when The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo was not released in our country because a few of the Censor guys wanted three scenes removed. Those scenes, the filmmakers said, were very crucial to the plot, so they later shunned the cuts altogether and we had to see the film on DVD.

Words like ‘period’, ‘condom’, ‘breast’ et al are beeped out from sitcoms, so much so that sometimes you fail to understand the joke or catch the punch like because of the abrupt acoustics effect that replaces the offending word. English films on television suffer the most. Try watching The Departed on HBO next time it’s on. You will end up cussing more than Mr Wahlberg.

So, to return to my point, how do crappy B-grade Hindi movies, like Cigarette Ki Tarah and Hate Story end up on the big screen will minimal cuts and with all their crappiness intact? It’s actually quite simple. Allow me two examples to illustrate my point.

These are true stories.

Earlier this year, a song from a hit film was about the fun and frolic alcohol can induce at parties. It was expected to be in trouble, because it had words like ‘rum’ and ‘whiskey’ in it. The task to release the song for public viewing was tough, because the party pooping Censor Board would definitely rain on the parade. So the producers sent tapes of the song and a middleman to the Censor Board office, to “work things out”. Two days later, the song was all over TV and radio. Poochho kaise?

Another film was in a similar soup, where it’s famed item song had a desi alcohol name in it; the song was positioned as the highlight of the otherwise grim movie. At first, the Censor Board acted tough, but things miraculously resolved themselves and poor Chameli was allowed to drink and dance to her heart’s content.

It’s such a weird connection between Bollywood and the Censor Board. Your mind boggles at some recent Censor Board decisions, because you’ve tried applying their logic and objections universally, and come up with several inconsistencies. That said, who’s up for some cigarettes tomorrow?

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.

(Picture courtesy koimoi.com)

Categories
Event

Archeology Day and a long-term demand

The CEMS celebrated Archeology Day and is now pushing for an Archeology Department at the University of Mumbai. A report.
by Shubha Khandekar

Lay enthusiasts, school and college students, curious onlookers and history and archaeology scholars alike, numbering close to 3,000, thronged throughout the day at the Archaeology Day celebrations organised by the Centre for Extra Mural Studies (CEMS) yesterday at the CEMS premises in Vidyanagari, Kalina, to coincide with the birth anniversary of the late Professor HD Sankalia, whose name is synonymous with Archaeology.

The celebrations were inaugurated by Dr DB Deglurkar, President of Deccan College, a premier institution for Archaeology in India, and Rajan Welukar, Vice Chancellor, University of Mumbai, who spent close to two hours examining all the exhibits.

Making a strong recommendation for the University of Mumbai for setting up a full-fledged Archaeology department in its fold, Dr Deglurkar pointed out that being one of the three oldest universities of Mumbai, it was appropriate that academic study of the past, a huge part of which is accessible only through Archaeology, must have pride of place in the University.  “CEMS has taken a commendable step by being the first institution in India to commemorate Prof Sankalia’s birth anniversary in such a memorable and constructive manner,” said Dr Deglurkar.

“The range of activities shown at the Archaeology Day celebrations and the energy of enthusiastic volunteers promises to carry forward the work that Prof Sankalia had begun more than 50 years ago. I wish every success to this venture by CEMS and assure you of every support and help from Deccan College,” he added.

Promising every effort in setting up an archaeology department at the University, Welukar said, “The progress made in Archaeological studies by the use of scientific methods is quite amazing.”

“We are trying to create awareness and interest for Archaeology among every section of society, and particularly among students,” said Mugdha Karnik, Director, CEMS. “This will now be an annual feature at CEMS and we appeal to all like minded individuals and institutions to join hands with us in this effort.”

Visitors to the Archaeology Day celebrations were particularly excited with the opportunity given to dig, under the supervision of expert archaeologists,  in a mock trench created at the venue. Other activities that drew large crowds were live demos of pottery making and stone tool making, exhibition of fossils, a KBC-style quiz for school-kids, the writing of names in Modi, Kharoshthi  and Brahmi by students of epigraphy, and a film on Chandore where CEMS has been conducting excavations for the past two years under the directorship of Dr Kurush F Dalal. Cartoons on archaeological themes were also put on display.

“There is so much that’s new and exciting,” said Anjali Inamdar, a visitor. “Such events must be held more frequently and in multiple locations.”

“I enjoyed it very much and learnt a lot. Fantastic effort, congrats to everyone who was involved,” said Rajashree Khalap, another visitor.

INSTUCEN and Sathaye College were collaborators on the event, while the Anjaneri Institute of Numismatics from Nashik, Archaeological Survey of India and the Thane Oriental Research Institute also put up stalls and exhibits.

Shubha Khandekar is an author, journalist, translator, editor and cartoonist and writes on a wide range of topics in English and Marathi. 

 

Categories
Event

Rally around for human rights

NGO to hold rallies, informal meetings and lectures to spread awareness of human rights violations. Human Rights Day was yesterday.

The Students’ Islamic Organisation (SIO) of India’s Mumbai chapter yesterday held a meeting to brief the press and the public about its programme to spread awareness of human rights violations, both in India and abroad. A major talking point for the meeting was the ongoing crisis at Gaza, and the numerous reported human rights violations happening there.

As per a member of the SIO, Mumbai, “On the occasion of World Human Rights Day, we decided to hold a meeting to discuss the ongoing human rights violations in Gaza, as well as the State-sponsored imprisonment of several Muslim youth in jails on the wrongful accusation of them being terrorists. Besides this, we are also addressing such issues that affect the society in terms of education and employment, as also the effect of extremist speeches and writings on people and the loss of personal liberty.”

The SIO plans to implement its programme through a series of events, such as public lectures, essay writing competitions, lectures in colleges, youth meets, ‘corner meetings’, discussions and analysis of the Human Rights Charter, displaying human rights posters, and human chains at various points in the city.

Categories
Eat

Food for 2012’s last month

Ziya at the Oberoi Hotel starts a six-day ‘Z’ menu from today; all dishes served will incorporate the letter ‘Z’.
by The Diarist | thediarist@themetrognome.in

It’s the last month of 2012, and for most of us, 2013 can’t get here soon enough. So while we’re waiting for the year to end, why not dig into a specially-designed menu with a twist?

Twice-Michelin starred chef Vineet Bhatia has created a fun new menu – the Z menu – for patrons of Ziya, The Oberoi, Mumbai. Inspired by the last letter of the alphabet, it is being served from today to December 16, with each dish incorporating the alphabet Z.

As per a release from Ziya, “Guests will begin their dining experience with Zafran, saffron shorba, Charmagaz marbles and naan malai bruschetta, followed by a choice of either Zucchini Bekti with Bengal gram masala and zucchini korma or Zucchini‐chilli paneer, with Bengal gram masala and zucchini korma.” The next course will offer Zattar chicken tikka with Punjabi paratha and papaya chutney or Zattar saag corn seekh with Punjabi paratha and papaya chutney, followed by Zeera, Cumin lamb pasanda, rice gattas, cumin potatoes, and lamb jus or Zeera, Cumin aubergine gujiya, rice gattas, cumin potatoes, and panch‐phoran tomato sauce.

The restaurant will let you end your meal “with a dose of death by chocolate, by trying Zeher, which is mocha coffee‐chilli choco cheesecake with Cookie kulfi, and sesame butter truffle.” Other vegetarian and non-vegetarian fare will also be available during this time.

(Picture courtesy pioneerwoman.com. Picture used for representational purpose only)

 

 

Categories
Film

Pole wallting

The diary of an event manager whose film promotion show was totally ruined by an Indian action hero’s outrageous demands.
by M| M@themetrognome.in

There is a certain man in Bollywood who loves a good stunt, both on and off screen. And here’s  a page from an event manager’s dairy, a person who was given the onerous task of bringing, let’s call him Desi Lee, to a film promotion gig.

‘Dear Dairy,

Today, I searched for a local arms and ammunition shop on Google Maps. I never thought I’d need a gun so badly in my life. I can shoot the lead actor of the project I am currently working on. No doubt he is the only decent action hero in the industry, but he desperately needs a reality check, and today he crossed every line in the book.

It all started a week ago, when the stupendously irritating marketing head of the film decided to throw a last-minute event to launch the film’s theatrical trailer. Why not upload the trailer on YouTube and move on, you ask? Darling, this is Bollywood. Mr K Jo threw an event for the trailer release of his last film, so now everyone else will do the same.

Coming back to my horrible life. I had only a week to pull this big deal of an event. Scouting the venue, drawing the guest list, arranging for the food and booze were the easiest parts. The lurid portion of the party was deciding the ‘entry’ for Desi Lee.

Lee likes to believe that he is a reincarnated avatar of Bruce Lee. Performing his own stunts in his films is commendable, whereas insisting on doing a stunt at a live event is plain foolish. Sometimes I wonder if he does normal, everyday activities like the rest of us. Like, does he sit on the pot like all of us do, or does he somersault and land on it? His antics began when he said that he would not walk to the podium, his ‘entry’ had to be mind-boggling and should leave the audience shocked. Thus began the journey of an endless pursuit for the right action act.

At first, he wanted to land at the venue in a hot air balloon, and I wanted to be King of the world. The multiple licenses and the limited time frame to import a hot air balloon made the task impossible. So that idea was mercifully scrapped.

Then Lee thought that since going up was not an option, coming down would be more exciting. So the alternate idea was for him to come down a fireman’s pole while performing Indian acrobatic acts. This would have been a great idea in an open maidan. But Leebhai grand event was to be held in the ballroom of a five star hotel.

Of course, the hotel refused to allow a hole to be dug in their floor, and worse, to have a pole fixed in the middle of their lavish 5,000 square feet banquet hall.

Lee was furious by now. With only three days to go for the event, he had no dhaasu entry. He was not ready to lose face. Everyone was summoned for an emergency meeting. After wasting hours on discussing options like skateboarding, parkour, stunt bikes and even riding a horse in a closed hall, Lee finally agreed on making his entry on a Segway, but with a twist (there has to be a twist, this is Desi Lee who lands on his pot after a somersault). Just riding a Segway also requires some practice, but this was not challenging enough for our action hero. So he decided to break a wall through the Segway and come rolling onto the stage. At this point I was looking for a wall…to bang my head against!

The production team starting working on building the wall out of cardboard. If I had my way, I would bring in the masons that worked for Mughal-e-Azam because they would know how to build a wall to bury Lee alive. Then Lee saw the blueprints of the construction and didn’t seem very excited. Next, came the tantrums.

With just two days to go, the preparations were in full swing when he dropped the first bomb – he wanted a change in the event’s timing. Next, he wanted an executive suite at the hotel to rest before he commenced the event. The final demand was to change the venue to a location convenient to him and closer to his house. Change the venue now? How was that going happen? All the other halls were booked and only one available in the desired location was way too expensive. The additional cost for procuring a new venue made the management fall off their chairs.

They gave an ultimatum to the marketing team – retain the venue or cancel the event. There was no way on Earth they were going to incur additional cost to build and later break a wall.

Mr Lee didn’t budge an inch and so the event was called off.

My hard work, all week, round the clock, was flushed away by a star and his demands.

I am still looking for that gun shop.’

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.

Categories
Do

Travel smart tomorrow

As the city gears up for annual Chaityabhoomi rendezvous at Dadar, know the routes to take and avoid when commuting.

It’s tough to commute by road as crowds of Dalit devotees have already converged on Chaityabhoomi and Dadar, for the December 6 observance of Dr BR Ambedkar’s death anniversary. If you’re going to take the road to work or home, the Mumbai Traffic police want you to know which roads to take and which ones to avoid. Keep this list with you and know which roads to duck and where you can park, among other things:

ONE WAY/CLOSURE OF ROADS

– SK Bole Road will be one way from Siddhivinayak Junction up to Hanuman Temple, i.e. no entry from Hanuman Temple.
– Bhavani Shankar Road will be one way from Hanuman Temple/Kabutar Khana up to its junction with Gokhale Road South, i.e. no entry from Gokhale Road South viz. Gopinath Chavan Chowk except BEST buses and emergency utility services.
– SVS Marg from Siddhivinayak junction up to Hinduja Hospital will be closed for vehicular traffic. Local residents can go up to Road No 5, i.e. Pandurang Naik Marg junction from Hinduja Hospital.
– Ranade Road will be closed for all types of vehicular traffic.
– Dnyaneshwar Mandir Road will be closed for all types of vehicular traffic from its junction with SVS Road up to Dadar Chowpatty.
– If necessary, vehicular traffic except BEST buses and emergency and utility services will be closed from Dadar TT.
– Kataria Road will be closed for vehicular traffic from LJ Road up to Hinduja Hospital.
– SVS Marg from Mahim junction up to Kapad Bazar (Shitaladevi Road) junction will be closed for vehicular traffic.
– All heavy vehicles, goods vehicles including tempos except BEST buses will be diverted from Mahim junction via Mori Road towards Senapati Bapat Road.

In case of heavy traffic congestion at and around Shivaji Park, the advisory is as under:

SOUTH-BOUND TRAFFIC

Vehicular traffic coming from Western Express Highway and proceeding towards South Mumbai shall go up to Kalanagar junction, take a left turn to proceed to Dharavi T junction to Sion Station or 60 feet Road, Dharavi via Kumbharwada to Sion Hospital and take right turn to BA Road. Commuters can also use the Rajiv Gandhi Sea link via Bandra to Worli  and proceed further.

NORTH-BOUND TRAFFIC

– North-bound vehicular traffic coming from Colaba and CST may use P D’mello Road, Barrister Nath Pai Marg, Zakeria Bunder Road, RAK Marg up to Matunga Arora bridge, then take right turn along Dr BA Road, and further on via Sion Hospital junction. Or, they may take a left turn at Gafarkhan junction on Dr Annie Besant Road for Rajiv Gandhi Sea Link and further to the suburbs.
– North-bound vehicular traffic coming from Mahalaxmi Railway Station via Dr E Moses Road may use Senapati Bapat Road.

PARKING RESTRICTIONS

Parking restrictions will be imposed from 20.00 hrs on 05/12/2012 till 21.00 hrs on 07/12/2012 on either sides of these  roads:

– SVS Road.

– Ranade Road

– NC Kelker Road

– Kelusker Road (South), Kelusker Road (North)

– LJ Road

– Gokhale Road (South), Gokhale Road (North)

– Kataria Road

– Tilak Bridge

– SK Bole Road

– Bhavani Shankar Road

PARKING SPACE

Cars can be parked at Senapati Bapat Marg and Five Garden.

 Source: Mumbai Traffic Police.

(Picture courtesy kemmannu.com)

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