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Review: Advantage Love

Madhuri Banerjee’s newest book has an interesting plotline and two likeable characters, but is marred by some cliched, preachy storytelling.
by Sharad Panjwani

I’m not a huge fan of romance novels, but I don’t turn up my nose on them either. If written cleverly and with the right mix of empathy and humour, there really isn’t a genre that is more entertaining. You’ll notice this about romantic comedies, as well.

Madhuri Banerjee’s Advantage Love is her newest book after Losing My Virginity And Other Dumb Ideas and Mistakes Like Love And Sex. Personally, I found Advantage Love flagging in spots and a bit too preachy for my liking – despite an interesting premise.

Trisha Mathur, the novel’s heroine, is an independent-minded woman who believes in making her place in the world on her own talent and merit. The story begins with a debate that Trisha is participating at her college, JNU, against Vedant Kirloskar, the dashing, handsome son of a prominent politician. A meeting later, sparks fly between the two and they start a steady relationship. Though in love with Trisha and extremely dependent on her to make his fledgling political career take wings, Vedant is resistant to the idea of making a deeper commitment and refuses to discuss marriage and a future. The relationship ends on a sour note, with Vedant moving to Mumbai to focus on his political career.

Heartbroken, Trisha immerses herself in her job at the UNICEF and a few months later, happens to meet tennis star Abhimanyu Laxman, who is immediately attracted to her. She doesn’t immediately look to enter into a relationship with him, not wishing to get hurt again. But she rediscovers love with Abhimanyu, and just when her heart is healing, Vedant meets her again.

It’s not a bad plot by any means, but I had a problem with how predictably things happen in the book. You just know Vedant is going to break Trisha’s heart and there are umpteen hints of his imminent return, and the character Vedant is curiously one-dimensional. Besides, he has an annoying tendency to spout poetry when wooing Trisha – if that is what girls really like, then well… *starts learning poetry to use, just in case*. I liked Abhimanyu Laxman loads better, though – he is decent, more open to commitment and wears his stardom with ease and just the right amount of arrogance.

Madhuri displays a tendency to ‘tell, not show’ in her writing; instead of letting the reader understand plot development through dialogue and situation, she writes entire paragraphs blandly describing what the characters are feeling and why they do what they do. What’s more, there is too much sermonising about love and relationships, most of it through Trisha’s friend and mother advising her, and the conversations seem stilted. Personally, I wouldn’t want even my best friend talking to me thus: ‘I don’t want to procreate. And I don’t want to have any regrets. I don’t know if we’ll grow in the same direction over the course of years. No one does. Hell, even railway tracks that are laid parallel straight have to change course or be replaced. We are all continuously changing. But as long as we know that this is the path we want to be on and this is the person we want to share today and the now with, tomorrow and the future will sort itself out. When you say “I love you”, it’s meant as forever. There is no time limit that comes with love.’

And so on.

Maybe fans of romance novels will love this book, and I’m not suggesting they shouldn’t. Maybe others will enjoy this love triangle more than I did. For me, though, a little less predictability and a lot more twists and turns would have done the trick. I would have liked the girl to love and lose…but then I like an unresolved love story.

I’m going with 2.5/5 for Advantage Love.

‘Advantage Love’ is available for sale on Flipkart.

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Wellness

Surprising causes of stress

Did you know that the things that make you happy can also give you stress? Read on to know more.
by Sharad Panjwani

‘Stress’ is, in the simplest terms, a short-term elevation or depression in our mood caused by a change in our environment. These changes can be good or bad. However, prolonged stress gives rise to depression or behavioural changes.

Normally, we associate stress with negative situations and people. A bad appraisal, an unfriendly group of co-workers, an argumentative spouse, your child’s continued bad grades – all of these are causes of stress, and we associate the term ‘stress’ only with negative or unpleasant events in our lives. However, even seemingly ‘good’ factors in our lives can cause stress! We’re just not aware of them.

Says psychologist Dr Charul Shahani, “Anything that causes a change in our environment can give us stress. Even something as innocuous as a close relative visiting us can cause enormous amounts of stress – however, in this case, our feelings of happiness override any panic or fear we may experience. The stress in seemingly ‘happy’ situations spurs us on to work better or faster. However, in some cases, people might experience a breakdown – like when they are organising a party for friends, or going on a blind date.”

These are some hidden sources of stress:

Families: Though this is largely dependent on a particular situation, our families do cause us stress without us realising it. A simple argument over who gets to watch which TV programme, or if the family should take an outing to a certain restaurant, can cause varying amounts of stress. Apart from these, some irritating habits of our family members cause stress on a daily level.

Pets: Our pets largely give us huge amounts of joy, but dealing with them can also be stressful. Says vet Varun Chugh, “We learn to identify our pets’ behaviours, their personalities and what they prefer to eat, how they like to play, what annoys them, and so on. Keeping a track of all of these can be stressful, especially if the pet suddenly changes some behaviours. Your dog barking at night or your cat mewing as if in pain – these can cause stress. People who have young children in their homes as well as pets experience double the amounts of stress because they are handling different personalities at the same time. This stress can translate into fatigue, irritation and lack of sleep.”

Food: Science has established that different foods can have varying effects on our moods. Apart from taste, the temperature, smell and fragrance of food and drink that we consume have a huge bearing on our mood. People who skip their breakfasts are obvious contenders for stress in this category, but so are people who are non-finicky in their food choices! While we assume that people who ‘eat whatever is put on their plates’ are easy-going , no-fuss individuals, these same people can feel stress if their habitual eating discipline prompts them to consume stuff they don’t like. An example of this would be finishing off food at a party despite bad cooking, so that the hostess is not upset.

Messy room or workspace: Some of us are naturally messy – we dump our stuff all over the place but we know where to find it. However, studies show that the bigger the mess, messy roomthe bigger the stress in remembering and finding our things later. This happens even if we know exactly where we’ve put them. So when our elders ask us to tidy up, it is for this reason alone – to minimise our own stress.

Gossipy neighbours or co-workers: Though all of us enjoy listening to or sharing gossip with our neighbours and colleagues at work, there is an unspoken fear all of us face – are people talking about me, too? Besides this, we also experience stress when we hear really bad news about somebody else, or some shocking fact about an acquaintance.

Working after office hours: It’s true that the ‘9 to 5’ concept of a working day doesn’t hold true for most of us, with many offices working well past 10 hours on most days. However, we are conditioned to treat our time out of the office (after work hours or on weekends) as ‘me-time’, and admit or not, all of us do have some tasks that we put off for ‘when we are free after work’. Naturally, the idea of having to work when we should be stocking up the fridge or going on a movie date as planned or even catching up on sleep causes stress.

The colours of our walls: Studies have shown that the colours we surround ourselves with have a direct bearing on our emotional well-being. People who work in spotless white workplaces or offices that have zero tolerance for eating at the desktop, report experiencing slight panic or pressure to be on their best behaviour, without having been told to do so. Similarly, homes or offices with walls painted in warm colours cause negative feelings. On the other end of the scale, dull colours such as grey or navy blue cause lethargy. It is a good idea to have a pop of colour in the surroundings with the walls painted in pastel shades. Offices with windows overlooking trees and activity are best.

Routine health checkups: Says Dr Shahani, “We go for checkups to rule out any abnormality, but a visit to the doctor, however routine, is always a cause for stress. Every human being has the fear of a hidden illness being detected. The friendliest doctor can, unintentionally, cause a lot of stress. However, this stress is released the moment we get a clean bill of health.”

(Pictures courtesy nicholasferguson.org, www.thismamacooks.com, www.deviantart.com) 

Categories
Wellness

Aching back? Here’s how you set it right

Backaches have a detrimental effect on our work and leisure hours. Treat the problem before it develops into something serious.
by Sharad Panjwani

A backache can make you miserable, rendering daily routines difficult to achieve and a constant reminder that something’s not right. But though back pain may slow you down, there’s no reason you can’t erase it from your life for ever.

Shruti Khopkar (31) was active before her wedding two years ago – she would exercise every day, be on the move even at work, run errands and get at least seven hours of sleep. “But I had to quit my job after the wedding, and soon, there was a lot of work at home. Within months, I developed a persistent backache that just would not go away.”

The answer came after two visits to a specialist. “My posture had changed because I was constantly at home, either cooking or tending to the home. I developed this habit of slouching in my couch and reading or watching TV. When I had been exercising with my trainer, he had ensured that my posture was perfect.” Shruti went back to functional training, and with proper workouts for her back and core, she does not feel an ache in her back any more.

Set it right

Backaches are rarely very serious, unless a slipped disc or strained spinal column is rendering you immobile. Very often, small corrections in postures and habits go a long way in alleviating back pain.

sleep wellSleep well: Most people with backache complain of stiffness when they wake up in the morning. While a small amount of stiffness if expected after hours of rest, a pain in the back is unacceptable. Your mattress could be the culprit – either too soft to support your spine as you sleep, or too firm to let your muscles rest. If not your mattress, it could be a lingering problem that you may have ignored.

Get help: Flip your mattress to distribute your weight evenly over it. Also, do a simple stretching exercise when you wake up every morning. Some people experience back pain if they don’t sleep enough. If you can, take a couple of days off from work simply to rest your back. If the pain is acute, you will need medical help.

Don’t sleep too much: However, those with back pain would do well to not rest too much in bed. Says Dr Rahul Shringare, orthopaedic surgeon, “Too much bed rest weakens the back further. You should engage yourself in moderate activity like walking, but not run or do gardening.”

Get help: Alternate your periods of rest with periods of activity. Avoid gymming or running that will strain your back. However, do light stretching so that your back gets exercise and does not ‘freeze’.

Exercise: Though some people give themselves a backache by overdoing their exercise routines, it is exercise that can rescue them. However, the workout you do must be approvedback pain by a certified trainer and your doctor, if you’ve consulted one.

Get help: Walking keeps the spine and back in a neutral position, so it’s a good exercise. Yoga also helps alleviate backache. Try ‘sarpasan’ for a strong back – lie down on the floor with your palms placed under your shoulders. Slowly lift your back (without lifting your feet off the ground) keeping your elbows at not more than 60 degrees angle. Hold for three seconds, then release. Repeat laps of 10 and do two sets.

Better posture: Slouching at the computer, suddenly bending to pick up an object off the floor, even coughing while bending over, can give you painful back spasms that take days to heal. Though you will do damage even with a rigid back at all times, you must remember to sit up straight at work or at home, and to avoid putting pressure on the lower back, support your lumbar with a firm pillow when you sit.

Get help: Always bend your knees when you bend over. Keeping the knees locked and your legs straight when bending puts tremendous pressure on your spine. Every once in a while, get up from your seat and stretch, take a short walk around the office. Keep your back as straight as you can without feeling pressure in the lumbar. Your shoulders must be aligned in a straight plane, instead of rounded inwards.

Avoid massaging a sore back: Wrong exercise or a blunt trauma can bruise and inflame your back muscles, causing swelling. Most people wrongly assume that massage creams and oils are to be applied on swollen, painful  areas of the body – these are only to be used on aching parts that are not inflamed or swollen.

Get help: If your back is swollen, apply an ice pack till the swelling goes down. After this, apply heat pads to repair the tender muscles in the painful area. Do not rub with a massage cream, it will only tear the tender muscles and tissue.

Strengthen your abs: It seems strange, but it is true that if your ab core is weak, it will strain your back further. People with strong abs are found to experience less back pain than others.

Get help: Strong abs does not mean a six-pack, but a core that can easily do crunches or flips without spasms. Get a fitness trainer to prescribe exercises for stronger abdominal muscles. Also consider exercises for hamstrings, chest and calves.

– See a specialist: A back pain cannot be treated simply with painkillers and a bit of moderate exercise. If your problem is long-term, you might need to see a specialist.

Get help: Ask your specialist for exercises to do at home or work, and for suggested lifestyle changes. Follow his/her advice to the letter.

(Pictures courtesy www.topnews.in, www.vitality-centre.com, www.apollolife.com)

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