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10 bizarre lyrics we still haven’t understood

Bollywood churns out many foot-tapping songs, but some of these superhits have extremely puzzling lyrics. Which ones did you understand?

by Ravi Shet

We love some of the chart busters Hindi films give us. It seems that most films have become hits only by virtue of a catchy song.

But a recap of some of the 90s and beyond hit songs has us a little confused – what do some of these lyrics mean? Here is our list of 10 bizarre lyrics we still haven’t understood. Please enlighten us if you have cracked their meaning.

1. Jab tak rahega samose mein aloo (Mr & Mrs Khiladi, 1997, lyrics: Dev Kohli)

We suppose this is a roundabout way of pledging eternal love and fidelity. But if anyone compared our relationship to a deep fried snack, the other half would be made to eat aloo sabzi for a month. The full lyrics are ‘Jab tak rahega samose mein aloo, tera rahunga o meri Shalu…’ *insert deep sigh*

Hera pheri2. Main ladka po po po (Hera Pheri, 2000, lyrics: Sameer)

This song goes ‘Tu ladka po po po, hum dono milein po po po, ab aage hoga kya?’ Very good question, considering nobody knows what a ‘Po po po’ is.

3. Tera pyaar pyaar pyaar, hookah bar (Khiladi 786, 2012, lyrics: Himesh Reshammiya)

It is safe to say that Himessbhai was smoking something exciting (possibly in a hookah bar) when he wrote this song. Not happy with writing such mind-altering lyrics, he also sang the song for hero Akshay Kumar in trademark Himess style (read: very badly).

4. Main Laila Laila chillaunga, kurta phaad ke, (Anari No. 1, 1999, lyrics: Dev Kohli)

This song was ideal for Govinda-style dancing (which often falls in the ‘dhinkachika’ format). But what is the need for this unwarranted violence towards kurtas? Both the hero and heroine (Govinda and Raveena Tandon) threaten to phaad their kurtas after shouting the other’s name. Was this some 1990s mating ritual we missed?

5. Telephone dhun mein hasne wali (Hindustani, 1996, lyrics: PK Mishra)

These lyrics are pure gold. ‘Telephone dhun mein hasne wali, Melbourne machhali machalane wali, digital mein sur hai taraasha…’ We are sure there is someHindustani deep philosiphical meaning to this. At least, we hope so. Otherwise, this seems to be a case of writing to a 2-minute deadline.

6. Saree Ke Fall Sa (R…Rajkumar, 2013, lyrics: Mayur Puri)

Saree ke fall sa, kabhi match kiya re,

kabhi chhod diya dil, kabhi catch kiya re…’

Awesome. The only song ever to put tailors and cricketers in the same team. This song makes perfect sense…to nobody. Even tailors and cricketers.

7. Hai huku, hai huku (Gopi Kishan, 1994, lyrics: Sameer)

Watch your language, dude. Seriously, watch it. And then tell us what ‘Hai huku‘ means. The lyrics go, ‘Hai huku, hai huku, hai haiyeh ladki mere saamne, kyun mera dil liye jaye jaye jaye…’ Is he complaining or what?

8. Mohabbat hai mirchi (Chura Liya Hai Tumne, 2003, lyrics: Jay Sharma)

The song that gave us Rakhi Sawant and heartburn at the same time, with lyrics that go, ‘Mohabbat hai mirchi sanam, uljhi uljhi tirchhi tirchhi mohabbat ki galiyan sanam…’ If this was post-2010, Himesh Reshammiya would have penned this song, and thrown in some other fruit and vegetables to make it more interesting.

Chhote sarkar9. Ek chumma tu mujhko udhaar dai de (Chhote Sarkar, 1996, lyrics: Rani Malik)

Govinda featured in this crapfest of a film, and true to form, danced to this gem with the lyrics, ‘Ek chumma tu mujhko udhaar dai de, aur badle mein UP Bihar lai le‘. This is unacceptable. UP and Bihar should protest.

10. Aa khushi se khudkushi kar le (Darling, 2007, lyrics: Sameer)

It is a little disturbing that lyricist Sameer has featured on this list four times. But this one is his best effort. The song goes, ‘Betaabiyaan bhi hai jawaan, mere jaaniyaan, mere ishq ka dil mein jeher bhar le, aa khushi se khudkushi kar le…’ We urge you to listen to this song if you ever feel suicidal. One of two things will happen: Either you will feel better about your life, because there are other things (like this song) crappier than your circumstances, or you will go out smiling – you know, khushi se.

Did we miss out any other lyrical gems? Do let us know in the comments below.

(Pictures courtesy bollywoodlaughs.wordpress.comwww.tribuneindia.comarticle.wn.comindianexpress.com)

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Turn up the (copied) music

Music directors are coming full circle – after copying global tunes for years, they’re now copying from old Hindi films!
by M | M@themetrognome.in

‘Copy cat, copy cat, tell your mother to make you fat.’ This line didn’t make any sense to me till I began to listen to songs from Hindi films. This line is just like the songs in our films these days – they don’t make any sense, but we’ve heard them before.

A song from Dabangg 2, ‘Pandeyjee Seeti Bajaye’ has the refrain from ‘Chalat Musafir’ from the Raj Kapoor starrer Teesri Kasam used all through the song. The original track was composed by Shankar-Jaikishen, but Sajid-Wajid, who say they created the music for Dabangg 2 in just two hours (a claim that’s easy to believe once you’ve heard the songs), argue that the tune in their song is a folk tune, and hence their song is not a copy.

Another recent release, Khiladi 786 has gone global in its copying – ‘Hookah Bar’ is copied from Chris Brown’s ‘Turn up the music’, whereas ‘Balma’s beats are lifted from ‘I’m sexy and I know It’. Himeshbhai, I sincerely hope you get pulled up by your nose for this.

We were finally out of the remixes era, when a dearth of original music forced composers to pick a popular track from yesteryear films and add some upbeat, dhinchak notes to create a song. We now have a new issue at hand – forget remixes, we are now facing a weird homecoming of sorts, with music directors simply copying tunes from earlier Bollywood films.

It is highly unfair that only Pritamda gets singled out as the biggest copycat of the industry. Sure, most of his tracks are good copy-and-paste jobs; his last, most evident copied track was ‘Subha hone na de’ from DesiBoyz, where the opening strains were lifted straight from Pitbull and Ne-Yo’s ‘Give me everything tonight’. But Pritam is not the only one.

The art of copying has been refined to suit individual needs. For example, some don’t believe in copying subtly. A renowned music director works like this: he likes an international track, he chops and dices the tunes, adds a few jhankar beats for Indian sensibilities and serves it straight up. But the way he sells his tunes is interesting: he sets up a bazaar kind of atmosphere in his office, where the buyers (who are two teams comprising producers and directors) sit in different rooms and the music director lets them sample his offerings one at a time – the idea is, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. So if team A doesn’t like the tune, he takes it to the next room to team B. And this goes on till both the teams have something in their shopping cart.

Copying music is not limited only to music directors. A singer, famous for his folksy voice, is known to invite gypsies from North India, who are masters of folk music, to stay with him (sometimes for weeks). He practices singing with them, and has been known to confess that he hates living with them, because they are not used to closed spaces and make a mess out of his home. However, he picks up the nuances of folk singing from them, and doesn’t give them any credit.

This same singer occasionally composes music as well, and the folk tunes imparted to him come in handy there. The singer sits on a big, fat bank balance. The gypsies, naturally, get nothing.

Some musicians go even further and buy tunes from struggling composers at dirt cheap rates. They re-package these tunes under their brand and sell them to film producers at phenomenal costs. The slightly smarter ones have created academies, and are currently playing Dronacharya to several willing Eklavyas – they claim that they nurture budding artists, but they freely use their work in their films. No wonder then, that nobody actually knows who the real composer is.

There are very few musicians, and I can only think of one at the moment, who compose original music today – Mithoon, who composed the soulful ‘Maula mere’ from Anwar. The industry recognises him as a very spiritual and gifted person, but unfortunately for him, he is often slotted as “Arre, who ek hi type ka music banata hai, masala nahin hai usmein”.

Thus, after importing masala from the West, and sometimes South-east Asia, we are now borrowing it from the North of our own country.

Sharp as a tack and sitting on more hot scoops than she knows what to do with, M is a media professional with an eye on entertainment.  

(Picture courtesy india-forums.com)

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A half-done Chutney

Do you like unfunny jokes and stereotypical ‘humour’ in your songs? You will love Vir Das and the Alien Chutney.
by M | M@themetrognome.in

How do you know if people have been to the NH7 weekender? They will tell you that they watched Vir Das and the Alien Chutney perform on Sunday, not an act they’d be able to see in the normal course of their lives.

Vir Das and the Alien Chutney is India’s first comedy rock band with a punch line that says ‘Romedy Cocks!’ (I am not making this up) The band has been active for over a year now, performing live at various gigs across the country, and seemingly specialises in sleaze, lacing all its songs with sexual innuendo for extra pleasure.

At NH7, they opened their act with the words, “We don’t care about the critic reviews, we are here for your entertainment”. As if music critics over the country were rushing to review a ‘Romedy Cock’ band. Thankfully, the performance itself was brief, full as it was of songs insulting Delhi girls, Punjabi men, and parodies on heavy metal bands, Gangman Style, Himeshbhai and Harry Potter. I appreciate Vir Das and the Chutney for attempting to create original music, but their lyrics are difficult to follow. The words seem forced on the tunes, and would better suit a stand-up comedy act.

One of the songs was called Village Man. The build-up to the song was a pop poll on how many girls had slept with Haryanvi men. The song itself was about – you guessed it – a Haryanvi man’s attempt at sexual intercourse and how he breaks the girl’s arm because he gets distracted by a squirrel and tries to grab the squirrel instead of the girl.

Next was Punjabi Men and their Man Boobs and a ballad on Delhi Girls, who are supposedly gold diggers. Both these songs’ lyrics were examples of blatant stereotyping of North Indian men and women. We’ve all heard the material several times over already, across several different platforms, and I can’t believe people are still making songs on man boobs.

The parody on heavy metal music was seasoned with names of actual metal like iron, zinc, copper and many more from the periodic table, along with jolts of double bass. Just when we were beginning to think the lame sex jokes were over, BANG! Out came lame jokes on other issues. The parody on Harry Potter was very offensive, and again, we didn’t get the joke – the chorus went: ‘Harry Potter is a Randi, Hermoine is a Randi, Dumble, Riddle, et al is a Randi…’ and so on.

The only parody remotely close to funny was the Gangnam Style one. The lyrics were actually laugh-inducing and contextual to the original song. In a gist, it was about how we don’t understand a single word of the song and throughout the song eagerly await the chorus just to watch a chubby Korean dance funnily. Of course, it had enough profanity to make PSY very angry.

I think the band doesn’t live up to the genre it claims to create. It takes much more than just mocking famous personalities and insulting communities to make people laugh. We are not asking for all-clean, sans profanity songs (after all, we are not the Censor Board), but at least give us a good joke.

If this is Vir Das’s attempt at matching the musical parodies on Saturday Night Live or the famed troupe ‘The Lonely Island’, then he needs to work much harder. The standards set by artists of the comedic music genre are very high already, and plain mockery and insults won’t help. Sexual innuendos are fine, but too much is too much. Agreed, breaking new grounds is tough, and full marks to the band for attempting that, but I strongly feel there is no need to take this on a live platform.

Next time I’m not going to stand in the middle of the day to watch Vir Das and the Alien Chutney rant about Himesh Reshamiya’s nasal hair, a joke done to death. I’d sooner watch them online, with the comfort of having the option to ‘close window’.

 

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