Categories
Overdose

Ignore that begging hand

Jatin Sharma is annoyed by beggars who play on his emotions to make money, instead of looking for honest work.

Begging was once a destiny. Now it’s a profession – it’s a chosen way of life, for all the shameful (and shameless) ones who are lazy in life.

A long time ago, Mumbai was fortunate to have real beggars, who gave you blessings, who were grateful for your help, who were really laachar and bebas. But not any more. Nowadays, when I look at beggars, I don’t see people I want to help. I see people I want to avoid, run away from because they are so utterly irritating. They desensitise every emotion in me; or maybe it is because I cannot, or don’t want to, feel another man’s pain any more.

I strictly feel that all the beggars from the city should be banned and at least in Mumbai we should act on those who beg, because begging really is illegal. For those who think I am being both brutal and politically incorrect, I would only like to say: pick a beggar and observe him/her for a week. Then you will understand  how organised the entire process of begging is. 

This has nothing to do with me being born in a better family and having more opportunity than other, less fortunate ones. Yes, I agree that these beggars didn’t get a good life like me, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of their lives should continue to be devoid of opportunity. If we continue to feel bad for them, they will continue to be beggars. Our pity is their salary.

Secondly, I have met several beggars in Mumbai and I have come to a conclusion: they are beggars not because God wants them to be, but because they want to be.

In Mumbai, no man who is willing to work will beg. And even if he has to beg – some people are victims of circumstance, being swindled out of all their money, or being abandoned by family in their old age, to state just two reasons – at least he should not irritate my city and her visitors from outside. The so-called beggars of my city are a disgrace to the financial capital of my country. And no, I don’t think that there are any individual beggars in the city, they work as a part of a larger mafia now.

They have taken over every traffic signal, every religious place and every transport station, and have slowly taken over the city. They approach people with bandaged hands that are soaked in red-coloured water, they rub their saliva on their faces to pass it off as tears, and touch people’s feet not to arouse pity in them, but a feeling of revulsion and annoyance, so that they get some money.

Take the example of the Gateway of India beggars. Most of them, exposed as they are to the constant barrage of foreign tourists thronging the site, can speak English, a smattering of French, and several other languages. They can almost correctly guess the nationalities of the visitors and have designed their begging strategies accordingly – one of which is to allot areas to people fluent in a language spoken by the foreigners most likely to frequent that area. Tell me, for a person clever enough to pick up a formal language without formal training, is it so difficult to use that cleverness in an honest trade and make honest money? Why is such a person still begging?

Begging has now evolved into a fine art. In fact, beggars are so organised and their work so scientifically carried out, I wouldn’t be surprised if a contingent of beggars was not some day invited to lecture B-students about efficiency and marketing themselves.

It’s not begging any more. Little children, unwashed and sometimes physically deformed, come up to you and ask for food. The moment you give them food, they go and sell it! Some of them are emphatic that they want money, not food, so that they can go buy some chemical to sniff at and get high, or else do cheap drugs with other children their age. Most children have to surrender the money they make from begging to a common pool each evening, from which he/she gets an equal share as allotted by the dada that controls them.

Nobody says much against them, because in India, we are an emotional lot. And we have let this menace of begging get out of hand; we have allowed it to become an organised, well-paying activity that is both demeaning and exploitative. While we have been quick to protest against the evils of drinking or prostitution, we have not been as strict with begging. As a developing country, we should be ashamed that so many of our countrymen are beggars, that so many of our young children are street urchins with no present and not much hope at a future. We hear cases of parents pushing their children out of their homes to beg – what do we do after hearing these stories?

And why would we? At the risk of sounding really harsh, let me say that at some point in all our lives, we have all begged – begged with police officers to forgive our mistakes, begged with teachers to give us grace marks and pass us, begged to be promoted, begged for another chance…begged and begged again. We excel at playing the victim card repeatedly, just to get what we want, and if we have to beg to do it, we will. Heck, we even use the term ‘beg, borrow, steal’ really easily in our normal conversation, sometimes in front of our impressionable children.

What really stops us, a country that supplies a lot of labour and technology to the rest of the world, from taking a stand? Do we lack the spine for it? Do we not have the power to set things right? Is it because we accord emotions the first priority in everything?

Is this what makes us let the beggars be, the politicians continue to scam unabated, let the country run the way it is being run? Or is it because we are too afraid to let new thoughts, however radical or tough, come to life and breathe?

Let your new thoughts take seed and grow. Don’t give out largesse to someone just because he/she makes a sad face and asks for it. Don’t pay these actors on the roads. Avoid. Ignore. And ban! 

Jatin Sharma is a media professional who doesn’t want to grow up, because if he grows up, he will be like everybody else.

(Picture courtesy rottenview.blogspot.com)

Categories
Trends

What senior citizens want…

Ever wonder why a person past the age of 60 wants to marry again? We get experts to tell us.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

Shantanu Banerjee* (71), a Bandra-based businessman, lost his wife to cancer four years ago. “Dealing with her illness was painful, especially the last months, when she was home and there was nothing more I could to help her,” he says. “Then she passed away, and our big house began to torture me by being so empty.”

Last year, Shantanu decided to address his loneliness. “I was living with my sister in Bangalore, and I joined a senior citizens club there. I met a woman who my own age, and like me, she loved watching movies and going for walks,” he remembers. Soon, the walks turned into day-long trips, the movie-watching turned into shopping excursions. “We realised we liked being with each other. She was a widow, had been for 10 years. But her outgoing nature made me come out of my grief. I decided to marry her.”

Shantanu and Gayathri Shetty* were married in a quiet ceremony last year. “We live in Mumbai and she has adjusted well. I love having her around the house,” he beams.

Shantanu and Gayathri are part of a growing tribe of seniors that are opting for a second shot at happiness in their twilight years. Given India’s current demographic – the UN says 32 crore of the country’s population will be over 60 years old in the year 2020, and India will soon be counted amongst the world’s ageing nations (where the geriatric population goes up every year) – we are looking at a situation where there will be several, single senior citizens. And most of them might need to find partners.

“People at that age are not necessarily looking for sex in the marriage. They are looking more for love and companionship. We’ve seen that while men want a companion, women want financial security,” says Sailesh Mishra, founder of the NGO Silver Innings, which works for senior citizens in the country.”And while there are several people whose families do not want them to marry ‘at that age’ because they fear what people will think, and also because they don’t realise that old people also need companions, we are happy to see that some children and relatives are totally supportive of them,” he adds.

A number of marriage bureaux catering to senior citizens have sprung up in recent times. Natubhai Patel (62), who started the first such bureau in Ahmedabad and who has to his credit 75 marriages and 25 live-in relationships among senior citizens across the country, says, “At that age, there is no confusion in the person’s mind about what he or she wants from the partner they seek.

For example, there was a 72-year-old who said that he wanted a wife who could also have sex with him. We found a woman, a widow, for him who was prepared to fulfil this condition. Another woman who came to me said that she got a good pension from her deceased husband’s company, and she didn’t want to give it up by marrying another man, but that she wanted a companion. Today, she lives with a man of her age at his home.”

Natubhai says he has a waiting list of 25,000 people looking for partners, and the numbers are just growing every year. “However, we want more women to come forward and ask for companions. It’s very difficult for women in our country, especially at that age, to even say that they want a man in our lives. However, more women are approaching us, which is a good sign.”

Some common expectations from senior citizens:

– A partner for marriage

– A partner for companionship; may or may not live-in with that person.

– A partner only for friendship; could be same-sex; requires the same for common shared interests.

– A partner for sex

(Picture courtesy daydreamingwordsmith.blogspot.com)

Categories
Enough said

Beyond the high walls

Humra Quraishi wonders what goes on inside our jails, and why cannot believe that some prisoners may want to reform.

Delhi gangrape accused Ram Singh was found dead in Delhi’s Tihar Jail early this week. But his story does not end with his death. Whether Ram Singh was murdered or forced to kill himself is just one of several questions arising from the incident. You could have a hundred television discussions on whether woh maara gaya ya mar gaya, but that’s not the main issue.

His death highlights a larger question, and not just for those confined in this particular jail: are prisoners sexually abused by other inmates and jail staff? Are prisoners silenced to suit those ruling and overruling prime institutions in the country? Are jails reforming the accused or merely killing them slowly? Are undertrials, who form the  bulk of those  imprisoned, subjected to torture?

More importantly, do any of those apolitical watchdog groups hear the shrieks and cries of those languishing in jail?

In this same context, I want to ask why we got so excited by actor-activist Rahul Bose’s comment, that those accused who are remorseful and want to reform should be given a second chance? What was so offensive about this statement? Why do we, while getting really hyper about what somebody says, overlook the fact that we, as a collective lot, are responsible for what’s happening around us?

See, if jails and prisons in our country did actually reform and heal their inmates, then I would hold out some hope for those being confined there. But in the present day, only horror stories emerge of our jails, where hundreds and thousands of people languish as undertrials. I quote a widely-circulated report that highlights these statistics: “In Chhattisgarh, over two thousand Adivasi undertrials are currently in jail. For many, the trial has not been progressing, despite being held for over two years. In Jharkhand, the figure is even larger. Similar situations prevail in Odisha, Maharashtra and Andhra Pradesh…”

To this, let me add that probably the same, if not graver, conditions prevail in other jails, too, and not just in overcrowded jails. What makes the matter worse is that no news trickles out from behind those high walls. What we hear are stray reports of prisoner violence, and there’s no way of knowing what really happens inside.

In these circumstances, since we are confining prisoners for long spaces of time, why not give them the opportunity to truly reform? I’m sure a lot of them want to make amends and mend their ways. I feel that Rahul Bose’s statement is born of wisdom and compassion, both of which we are increasingly bypassing with other human beings, and especially with criminals.

I would go so far as to suggest that Rahul Bose write a book about his thoughts on the matter. Whatever one may so or feel about him, I have always thought that there was something very honest about him. I’ve met him just once – at a book launch in New  Delhi – but he left an impression. I’d asked him if I could interview him. To that, he’d  quipped, “We actors give interviews only when our films are being released!”

(Picture courtesy timeslive.co.za)

Categories
Event

A wedding fair for senior citizens

A wedding fair for senior citizens looking for partners and live-in companions will be held at Matunga on April 7.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

All over the world, senior citizens are expected to settle down into quiet oblivion once they retire from work and cross the magic age of 60, silently watching as their families continue with their lives. In our country, however, the problem of ‘old age’ is compounded for those who lose a spouse to death or divorce – and the worst part is, we don’t want to hear our senior citizens say, “I’m lonely. I want to get married again.”

“With the trend of nuclear families increasing in our country, senior citizens are often left to fend for themselves. The country’s senior citizen population is increasing. Today, 10 per cent of all Indians are senior citizens – 10 crore Indians are over 60 years of age, and 12,00,000 of them are in Mumbai alone,” said Sailesh Mishra, founder of the NGO Silver Innings, which works for senior citizens in the country. He was speaking at a press conference held to announce a ‘Senior Citizens Jeevan Saathi Sammelan’, that will take place at Dadar Matunga Cultural Centre on April 7.

“When a senior citizen loses his or her spouse, he/she becomes really lonely, but they are not allowed to express it because society does not expect ‘old’ people to want a companion at that age,” Sailesh explained. “Research shows that while the longevity of senior citizens in our country is going up each year, women have been found to outlive men. But again, it is very difficult for a woman of that age to say that she needs a companion, that she wants to spend the rest of her life with somebody. We feel that senior citizens should also get the chance to find a suitable mate,” he said. To incentivise women’s participation in the Sammelan, all women who attend the meeting will be given basic train fare, lunch and a saree.

The Sammelan is the brainchild of Natubhai Patel (62), the founder-chairman of Vina Mulya Amulya Seva (VMAS) in Ahmedabad, which has to its credit 75 senior citizen marriages and the setting up of 25 live-ins all over India. “We decided to do  such a big meeting in Mumbai because our research says that 39 per cent of senior citizens living alone in this city are senior citizens. With rising crime against seniors, and the fact that their twilight years can be better spent with somebody of their choice, the Sammelan aims to have willing senior citizens meet each other and make an informed choice about the partner they choose.”

 

Sailesh added that women’s participation in such meetings has been found to be very low. “We want more women to participate. Through our counselling sessions, we find that most men are looking for companionship, while women look for financial security. At that age, marriage is not required for sex, but more for love and security.” On being asked if the organisers would ensure that no fraudulent members participated in the meeting, Sailesh said that all participants would be advised to carry out background checks before going ahead with the person they chose. “We will only facilitate the meeting, apart from helping with legal advice and marriage counselling when required,” Sailesh said.

The Sammelan is not open to people below 50 years of age, or those whose partners are still alive. If divorced, the participant must produce documentary proof of the divorce, or if the spouse is deceased, the death certificate must be shown. An ID proof of age is mandatory. The Sammelan is open to widows, widowers, single people and divorcees, all over 50 years of age. The event is being organised by Rotary Club of Mumbai (Nariman Point), in association with Silver Innings and VMAS. Contact 099871 04233/ 09029000091 for details and registration.

Tomorrow: Who participates in these events? What are senior citizens in India expecting from their partners?

Categories
Outside In

From ‘building gardens’ to building gardens

Shweyta Mudgal bats for pocket-sized green spaces in cities, which could transform the way Mumbai works, plays and indeed, relaxes.

When growing up in the 80s, in a co-operative housing society in Four Bungalows (in Mumbai’s Andheri West area), one always went ‘down’ to play. Our building, like most others built at the time, had a common recreational area, inappropriately termed as the ‘garden’. I say ‘inappropriate’ because, while it would always start out as a garden, this space would eventually succumb to the perils of constant foot traffic by the building’s younger residents, who used it to play everything from catch-and-cook to cricket.

For most of our formative years, this garden was anything but the ‘green lawn surface’ that it had started out to be. My clear memory of it is of a huge, central, roundish-oblongish-shaped, reddish-brown coloured area (on account of the soil in it), in which the little kids played their little games by day, and where the older ones held their night-time box cricket matches.

While small-scale outdoor games like playing marbles and spinning tops warranted flat surfaces such as concrete pavings, the garden’s spacious, landscaped terrain lent itself beautifully to team-oriented, physically-intensive sports such as football and cricket. Being centrally-situated, the living room window of all the 51 flats in the building looked down upon it, thus making it a perfect site for parental supervision aka snooping (the merits and demerits of which can be substantially argued thereof).

The ‘building garden’, as it is colloquially referred to in Mumbai lingo, serves as the first outdoor recreational interface that a mini Mumbaikar interacts with, easily adapting it to become his or her playground. Even today, since a majority of the city dwells vertically, in densely-packed residential buildings/housing societies, the concept of private front yards is naturally non-existent.

In such a scenario, communal ‘building gardens’ often double up as yards-cum-playgrounds for the city’s young ones. In the case of certain buildings, where the garden is off-limits for play (on account of its new role as a parking lot), one can still find children riding their bikes or scooters around it, manoeuvring their way through other strolling residents, circling its periphery. These ‘building gardens’ of Mumbai have always been central anchors of playtime for the young, and a personal pocket of open space for the elderly.

Mumbai also has its own share of neighbourhood parks, termed as ‘pocket parks’, that can be found scattered over its urban and suburban areas. Pocket parks (as the name clearly suggests) are small pockets of green spaces, open to the public, found interspersed within a city’s fabric, usually occupying small plots of land. These are not the types where one can play football or cricket (although lack of square-footage has never really hampered a desi cricketer!), but certainly the kinds where a game of ludo or scrabble can be enjoyed, if the weather permits. They operate more on the mantra of social relaxation – providing green horizons, benches to sit on, walking/jogging tracks and sometimes children’s play areas. At times, they may have a small monument or an art project housed in them, or even include partial weather-proof areas such as gazebos. They function as passive oases of cool and quiet, providing a source of welcome relief to the citizens in an otherwise hot and boisterous city.

New York City is a perfect example of an urbanised landscape that has over 250 comfortable pocket parks and public spaces, some with waterfalls, seating (movable tables and chairs as well as fixed bench-type seating), coffee kiosks etc. Most people intricately interact with these urban retreats by passing them to or from work or stumbling upon them when walking around their own neighbourhood. These serve the immediate local population as well as the transient tourist/visitor population.

In a residential neighbourhood, one can see locals resting here in the afternoons, reading their newspapers, supervising their playful children or engaging themselves in a game of chess, whereas in an office area, these become prime properties for lunch spots. In touristy areas, these offer an opportunity for shoppers to put down their shopping bags and rest awhile before continuing along, while for some passers-by, these provide a sense of visual relief in the scale of an otherwise towering concrete and glass jungle that is the city. Some of these pocket parks are privately owned, such as Gramercy Park, which is selectively accessible only to the people residing around it, who pay an annual fee towards its maintenance and have a key to it. The general public is not allowed in – although the sidewalks of the streets around the park are a popular jogging, strolling and dog-walking route.

Philadelphia provides a classic example of how pocket parks fight urban decay and crime. Resident groups here are revitalising their communities by reclaiming vacant land and establishing mini-parks there. This has not only helped them revive their blighted and desolate neighbourhoods, but has also spurred property sales on surrounding streets. Unattractive, neglected pieces of land that lacked the interests of developers in the past have successfully metamorphosed into small food-production urban farms that yield vegetables and fruits in the summer.

Pocket parks have been providing green spots of quiet refuge in otherwise urbanised cityscapes all over Europe as well. At times, they have evolved as urban transformations of wastelands, while at others they have come up as retrofits of a vacant lot or have been built into a new development project. In Denmark’s capital city Copenhagen for example, pocket parks are part of a larger strategy that aims to create green spots and connections in the city.

Copenhagen aspires to become the capital city with the best urban environment in the world by 2015. Enhancing their urban green is one of the tools they plan to employ for reaching this vision. The municipality plans to establish 14 pocket parks throughout the city before 2015 and plant 3,000 trees to create green streets and connections, in the hope that 90 per cent of all Copenhageners by 2015 can walk to a park, a beach or a harbour bath in less than 15 minutes.

In Tokyo, pocket parks – known as tsuji-hiroba – provide an even more compelling service. Designed with underground water tanks, the miniparks act as community meeting spots during emergencies such as fires or earthquakes.

In highly urbanised areas, where real estate prices are usually soaring through the roof and open space is always at a premium, pocket parks are excellent options for creating new public spaces without large-scale redevelopment. Unlike larger, traditional parks such as Central Park in NYC or Sanjay Gandhi National Park in Mumbai, which are meant to serve the whole city, pocket parks are meant to serve just the people of the neighbourhood or even those of the street or the block.  Usually tucked away in inner-city areas, these specks of green contribute towards urban regeneration, providing areas where wildlife such as birds can establish a foothold. Unlike the public aspect of the city’s larger parks, pocket parks are designed keeping in mind the context of the neighbourhood or even just the lane that they are located in. Besides serving the local community, they also have the potential to benefit the overall urban climate. Communities with parks that meet their needs within walking distance are less likely to drive out of the city for nature experiences, thereby reducing pollution and traffic. Furthermore, pocket parks can potentially relieve pressure on the larger parks, thus allowing flexibility to devote larger areas of the parks to habitat and ecological functions.

In NYC, I have often seen pocket parks don various hats – they serve as perfect venues for summer fairs and community gardening efforts, second-hand thrift stalls and farmers markets. They swing little children on their carousels at times and intrigue passers-by enough to spend a few minutes staring down at engrossing games of chess. They make an ordinary sandwich seem gourmet because it’s being eaten outdoors on a park bench. They celebrate the sunshine and the afternoon breeze, much-needed after being cooped up in an air-conditioned conference room all morning long. They inspire creative tweets, because one types sitting under birds that are literally tweeting. They serve as perfect meditation spots and reading areas with the best kind of light to read in. Sometimes they come accompanied with the sound of water, that provides one with a transitory sense of escape from the city din. They inhabit innocent squeals coming from babies swinging in glee, that on a day going badly at the office, serve as perfect reminders of one’s real priorities in life. They let strangers sitting next to each other bond, albeit momentarily, in perfect harmony while syncing their heads to the tune of the saxophone played by the street musician.

In Mumbai, along with their universal roles of climate control and providing a green thumb to society, I envisage pocket parks as microcosmic representations of their communities, reflective of their culture and chaos. I imagine them housing Ganpati pandals in August with as much vigour as Christmas trees in December. They would throw community iftaar parties with as much enthusiasm as Lohri festivities. Here, neighbours could screen their own local film festivals through ‘open-air movie nights’, complete with picnic blankets and popcorn. Everyone and their driver would be welcome. Lovers would hold hands with aplomb, without having to fear unnecessary probing. At dawn, the park would host devoted yoga-aficionados and at dusk, serious star-gazers.

Pocket parks in suburban Mumbai neighbourhoods would double up as schools for street kids, giving them a more secure location for learning, as against the city’s footpaths, where they are presently located. Where possible, these pocket parks would evolve into mini urban farms giving gardening lessons to children, teaching them to grow their own herbs, vegetables and even fruits.

Pocket parks situated in office areas would function somewhat akin to outdoor culture cafes, providing free wifi for Mumbai’s office-goers. They would have ample areas of shade to reinvent Mumbai’s lunch breaks by bringing people across class, caste and creed together, to eat on long communal tables. They would transcend into multi-function culture hubs – commissioned and run by the city – open to the public, year-round, free-of-charge. These would showcase art installations, local music, street performances and jamming sessions, and provide a breeding ground for undiscovered talent. Occasionally, these pocket parks would host hawker fests/food bazars, on the lines of the ‘fun-n-fair’ concept that we all grew up with, where high-end restaurant stalls would be set up side-by-side with street-food vendors selling vada-pav/bhurji-pav/bhel puri and what-have-you. Every pocket park would plan and publish its own agenda in the form of a calendar of public events. One would have the option of walking into a pocket park to work, rest, read or simply sit and stare, watching the city go by.

These pocket parks, whether located in Mumbai’s suburbs or in its office areas, would frame the quintessential postcard of this city’s spirit. They have the potential of being our largest socio-urban experiment yet – for the people, by the people and most importantly, of the people! After all, a city has the capability of providing something for everybody, only because and only when it is created by everybody, isn’t it?

A Mumbaikar by birth and a New Yorker by choice, recently-turned global nomad Shweyta Mudgal is currently based out of Singapore. An airport designer by day, she moonlights as a writer. ‘Outside In’ is a weekly series of expat diaries, reflecting her perspective of life and travel, from the outside-in. She blogs at www.shweyta.blogspot.com and confesses that she could not stop the utopian urban designer in her from taking over while writing this post. 

(Pictures courtesy momaboard.com, pps.org, flickriver.com, streeteditors.com)

Categories
Do

How about an art attack?

Art Night Thursday, an ongoing art show initiative, makes art more accessible and time-friendly to the general public in Mumbai.
by Medha Kulkarni

On every second Thursday of the month, a handful of some of the art galleries at Colaba and Fort stay open till 9:30 pm to hold Art Night Thursday. Chatterjee & Lal, Chemould Prescott Road, Gallery Maskara, Gallery Beyond, Volte Gallery, Sakshi Gallery, The Guild, Lakeeren and Galerie Mirchandani + Steinruecke are amongst the participating galleries.

It’s a fabulous initiative that started a little over a year ago and has been instrumental in making art more accessible to the general public. Most galleries tend to be closed on weekends and shut by around 7 pm on weekdays. This makes it difficult for the regular office-going crowd, students etc. to ever go catch a show. Thus, keeping the galleries open on a weeknight till late has provided such people with the wonderful opportunity to be able to catch their favourite art shows without missing work.

Art Thursday this month is tomorrow, March 14, and you can get more information on the Mumbai Art Map here.

This month, Art Night Thursday highlights those galleries that are a part of the FOCUS Festival Mumbai, the first festival in the city dedicated solely to the work of young and promising photographers from all over the world.

I suggest picking up an art map from one of the outlets mentioned in the link above, and hit the art trail in the following order:

– Chemould Prescott Road : “Parsis” by Sooni Taraporevala, March 06 – April 06, 2013

– Art Musings : “37 Still Lifes”, March 14 – April 13, 2013

– Goethe-Institut Mumbai : “A Fantastic Legacy: Early Bombay Photography from 1840 to 1900”, March 13-27, 2013

– The Guild: Group exhibition March 13-27, 2013

– The Hermes Mumbai Store: “The Inhabited Space” by Sean Rocha, March 13-27

– Project 88 : “A Village in Bengal” by Chirodeep Chaudhuri, March 14-26, 2013

– Sakshi Gallery: “Poseurs”, March 14-24, 2013

– Studio-X: “Lost Highway” by Chantal Stoman, March 12-18, 2013

Medha Kulkarni, 25, lives in Mumbai and is a curator at Volte Gallery. Her hobbies include reading, travelling and writing.

(Picture courtesy mumbailocal.net)

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