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Rakhi Sawant’s hilarious letter to Mumbai CP

Incensed over Digvijay Singh’s slur on her ‘noble character’, item girl wants Rs 50 crore compensation for his defamatory remarks.

Item girl and occasional actor Rakhi Sawant has not taken kindly to Congress leader Digvijay Singh’s tweet that “Arvind Kejriwal and Rakhi Sawant are quite similar…they both try to expose but without any substance”. But instead of getting into a war of words with Singh, who Rakhi feels has cast a slur on her “noble character” by “lovering the image of a Hindu woman”, she has dashed off a complaint letter to Mumbai Police Commissioner Dr Satyapal Singh.

In her letter, reproduced verbatim below, Rakhi has alleged that Singh has passed a “lewd, indecent and outrageous remark” on her by “the said accused Digvijay Singh of Congress Party.” Rakhi has also objected to Singh comparing her “with masculine gender Kejriwal and thus raised question mark on my feminist.”

Read the full letter below (courtesy www.ibnlive.com). All punctuation and grammatical errors have been left intact.

Mrs. Rakhi Anant Sawant,

4001, Imperial Height, B Tower, Best Colony, behind Oshiwara Depot, Goregaon, west, Mumbai-104, Dated -12/11/12 To, 1). Commissioner of Police, 2). Home Secretary, State of Maharashtra, 3). Sr. P.I., Goregaon Police Station,

Subject;- Complaint for taking cognizance on the lewd and indecent remark on me by One Digvijay Singh General Secretary of Congress Party.

Dear Sir,

I, the undersigned and as mentioned above, respectfully bring to your information my grievances with a hope to get justice, as under :-

1) I am a professional and artist and world known stage performer, famine activist, social worker and cultural Maharashtrian Maratha girl.

2) I have been hearing many news channels playing news on me and calling on and reporting about lewd indecent, outrageous remark on me by the said accused Digvijay Singh of congress Party. Whatever I heard about my self and my person, which is said by the said digvijay singh a as… arvind kejarival and rakhi sawant are quit similar…they tried to expose but no substance…”

3) He said that I am a female and cultural activist. I say that said accused has lowered my image and reputation by comparing with masculine gender Kejarival and thus raised question mark on my feminist. I say that accused Digvijay has compared me with political activistwho has no specific base and character.

4) I say that who told Digvijay singh that I have no substabce. I say that I do not know Digavijay singh personally and neither I have entered into any contractual obligation to claim expose to show. Neither I feel that any such elderly person of such old age shall inter into private life and profession in any manner. For the same I have already issued instruction to my lawyer Ejaz Naqvi to issue notice for claim against defamation for damage of Rs. 50 Crore to said accused Digavijay Singh at his address for loss etc. and further calling on him to stop such comment in further future.

5) Prima facie it looks that Your officer and the concerned state congress machinery is inclined to presume and spread the false contention about my person that I am outrageous. Which is too attracting jurisdiction of state/national Human Right Commission I say that the same contention/presumption of Congress Party and is general Secretary Digvijay Singh is baseless and false and I wanted to prove it by enacting Police investigations. Fore the sake of justice and my right to dignified life under the constitution of India.

In the circumstances and gruesome attack on my noble character and log history of disregarding to lodge proper cognizance despite being informed about such remarks on my person, I finally request you to direct to you subordinate to register an appropriate complaint and F.I.R. of outraging modesty of a woman/female, charges of passing lewd remarks and eve teasing, abusing, mischief, passing defamatory remake and false statement and rumour etc against me and Criminal Conspiracy etc. and further transfer it to C.B.I. against the above mentioned accused under the Relevant provisions of I.P.C. u/s. 354, 427, 500, 511 and also section 67/A and 69 of Information Technology Act 2000 etc. and investigate the matter as disclosed in the Complaint and find out the accused etc. and secure the dignified life & legal interest of the Complainant & in the interest of justice and Right to dignified life as guaranteed of the constitution for all the citizens to get justice.

Yours truly,

Rakhi Arun Sawant Adv. S. Ejaz A. Naqvi

(I have been told all the facts in Marathi before signature),
C.C.-1) DG.P.-Maharashtra 2) Chairman, State Woman Commission, Mumbai/bandra for calling the accused Digvijay Singh for his lewd and anti woman remark and proper action. 3). Sonia Gandhi , President of Congress party, 10 Jan pat for taking appropriate action on the said accused Digvijat Singh for lovering image of a hindu Woman.

(Picture courtesy www.tribune.com.pk) 

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The most-read magazine in Maharashtra

…is a government publication! Lokrajya, over 60 years old, is the country’s only government magazine with a 3,05,000 print run.
by Vrushali Lad | vrushali@themetrognome.in

A magazine prepared and printed in Mumbai, finds resonance all over the state. It is sold out within a few days of hitting the stands, and has a staggering on-stands sale of about 50,000, higher than the glossiest magazines devoted to other topics. It has a stunning subscriber base of 3,05,000 people all over Maharashtra, apart from a strong online presence. And despite its huge popularity, it is priced at a modest Rs 10 per issue, and is produced on a non-profit basis.

The magazine is titled ‘Lokrajya’, and is a Government of Maharashtra Information and Public Relations (PR) production. The entire team working on the magazine, however, mention at the start of the interview that none of their names are to be made public. “We are only doing our jobs,” they say, before an official launches into an explanation of the magazine and how it came to be so popular.

“It was started 64 years ago, as a weekly, to cater to the strong reading culture of the state,” he explains. “Three generations have come up reading Lokrajya; it is not a gazette but it is a government mouthpiece. However, we maintain the highest editorial and production qualities for each issue. The cover is very scrupulously done, and we are very meticulous about minimising errors.” The magazine is backed by a team of in-house editors, and there are edit meetings held before production of each issue begins. “We try and gauge what people would be interested in reading, what is most current at the moment. We also bring out special issues that have always been well-received – our special issue on Babasaheb Ambedkar’s birth centenary even went into a reprint!”

He mentions that the magazine’s readers, and indeed its targeted niche, are not based in Mumbai. “A very small percentage of people in Mumbai are reading it. Our base is in the other cities and towns, and especially in the villages. Our most ardent readers are UPSC students, government servants, gram and zilla panchayat workers, rural schools and colleges, tribal students and economically backward students. We feature stories and interviews that are of especial interest to these groups.”

Lokrajya is printed in Marathi, Hindi, Urdu and English, though it used to be printed in Sindhi also. “It was too taxing to print it as a weekly, so it was later made a monthly,” the official explains. “Since the periodicity is monthly, we can pack more news and features in each issue.” says Director General Pramod Nalavade. He adds, “You should see our distribution process. With such huge bundles of magazines going out to distributors and to post offices all over the state, the magazine is almost a small industry in itself!”

 

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An astonishing children’s library at Churchgate

The Vohu Mano library has a lifetime membership of Rs 350 only, plus children can read rare titles as well.
by The Diarist | thediarist@themetrognome.in

Inside the Theosophy Hall just opposite the American Centre at New Marine Lines, there is a lovely little children’s library that houses every sort of book, comic and encyclopaedia that a child could possibly desire. Books such as the Trixie Belden series, now not available in most bookstores, back issues of The National Geographic, a towering collection of Amar Chitra Katha comics and a host of beloved children’s authors are neatly displayed on its shelves.

The fourth floor library has a lifetime membership fee of only Rs 350. “It is actually a refundable deposit, and there are no other charges,” says a ‘student’ who manages the centre (all Theosophy followers in the building prefer not to use their names and call themselves ‘students’.) She adds, “The deposit is refundable only after six months, however. The idea behind such a small deposit is that even those chidren who cannot afford to purchase books can have access to good reading material at our library.”

Vohu Mano is ancient Persian for ‘The superior mind’. The student says, “People who come here for the first time are surprised at our vast collection of books, apart from the low lifetime fees. After the library started in 1962, its fees were Rs 5 for the longest time. However, we have had to progressively increase the deposit amount to meet our operational costs.” The library does not purchase any books but relies solely on donations from the public or the United Lodge of Theosophists. “It is lovely to see children as young as 10 years of age come with several books and leave them with us,” the student says. “So many children come with even 15 books sometimes, and some of the books are in mint condition.” The library also accepts monetary contributions for the upkeep of the library.

Interestingly, though the library insists on membership up to 18 years of age, several parents and older collegians also drop by to borrow books. “Since there are several offices in the area, it is the parents that come to borrow books for their children. But they also find books interesting to them, such as our encyclopaedias. College students, especially borrow our educational material for their project work,” she says.

The library now boasts of a 1,000+ membership. “There are 15 to 20 visitors every day,” she says. “It helps that we have a nice reading room where children can select a book and read without interruption.”

About the library:

– There is a refundable Rs 500 deposit to be paid if you want to borrow reference material.

– Children can borrow one old book and one new book at a time. Alternatively, they can borrow two magazines, or one book and one magazine.

– The library began in 1962 with over 1,000 books in English and over 100 books in Gujarati, Urdu, Hindi and Marathi.

(Picture courtesy www.childrensbooksandmusic.com)

The Diarist is always on the lookout for interesting book-related nooks. If you know of a good reading room or unexplored library, do write in to thediarist@themetrognome.in and the diarist will feature the place. 

 

 

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‘Some authors want everything right away’

Popular Prakashan’s Vinitha Ramchandani describes the author habits that drive her crazy. Plus, tips on pitching your book to publishers.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

Popular Prakashan is 85 years old, and though better-known for its non-fiction offerings, the publishing house also delves into fiction and children’s books. We got its editor Vinitha Ramchandani to tell us several things – like the stories she is most likely to pick up, what she thinks about Chetan Bhagat’s style of writing, and what authors should and should not do.

Is there a thumb rule for selecting a manuscript for publishing?

At Popular Prakashan we do both non-fiction as well as fiction, and we get all kinds of manuscripts. For non-fiction, we look for depth in research, strong language and what the MS (manuscript) is trying to convey. When it comes to fiction, it is how well the story catches one’s attention. Anything that is absorbing, basically. Fact is, when a manuscript comes in to a publisher, anything that has bad language is a no-no, a total put off.

In recent times, especially after Chetan Bhagat came out with books that were completely Indian in sensibility, a lot of people have started writing books. What is your take on this trend, where every person with a story to tell is writing a book?

Chetan Bhagat made big money by selling large numbers. However we’ve had Indian authors who wrote with Indian sensibilities for ages now! Rabindranath Tagore, RK Narayan, Mukul Raj Anand, Khushwant Singh and Satyajit Ray are icons who wrote in English and for and about ordinary Indians. Contemporary greats like Salman Rushdie, Amitav Ghosh, Arundhati Roy, Kiran Nagarkar…the list is endless. It is a pity if all we can remember is Chetan Bhagat, who simply has mastered the technique of selling mediocre work.

Yes, everyone does have a story to tell, however not all tales get told. When you get into the world of book publishing, you will realise that the competition to get printed is tough. However blogging, self-publishing and e-books are becoming big and yes, if you are certain that this is what you want [to do], then there are more and more options that are opening up.

What are some common author habits that drive editors up the wall?

Authors who have one book that they do a year or two (of course, there are some who write more than three to four books a year) forget that publishers do more than one book, and that we have many authors who we deal with at the same time. The other thing that can be exasperating, is when an author travels to, say Hubli, to a tiny store there and calls us up demanding why they didn’t find their book there. The third is when authors constantly expect publishers to do PR work for their book through the year, year after year.

In your experience, has there been an author(s) who has been really difficult to work with? Why?

Oh yes! I’ve had a couple of authors who want everything they demand overnight or—better still—right away. These are the ones who are brand names. Then there was one who wrote a mail to me and copied the management on it, and something like that can really ruin an author-publisher relationship. Mostly though, I’ve worked with authors who are understanding and have been patient. Some of the brilliant social sciences authors are simple, look completely unassuming in their chappals and kurtas, carrying their MS in a cloth bag…one can’t help but feel humble in front of their work.

What should first-time authors bear in mind when sending manuscripts for evaluation?

One, send your manuscript with a good cover letter, which talks a bit about the work being sent and about the process of writing as well as the author. In today’s day and time, when there is so much advice that you can access online, it continues to amaze me that there are people who send manuscripts with one-line cover letters. Trust me, who you are, how old you are, and how you can sell yourself, all help to create a base before I even open and read the MS. Of course, a good MS is unbeatable, and no matter how curt you cover letter is, if you have a good MS then there is nothing to worry.

Two, research publishing houses. Find out what kinds of books each publishing house is inclined to do. Sending your adult fiction to a publishing house that prefers to do children’s fiction is self-defeating. Or, if it is short stories that you are writing, then look up and see which publishing house prefers to publish short stories.

Three, and I never did this but if I ever write again this is what I will do: (a) Send your MS to as many publishing houses as possible. (b) Make an excel sheet and jot down the place (publisher) you send your MS to, the person who you addressed it to, the date you sent it and if possible, the date in which you received an acknowledgment of their receipt of it. (c) Wait patiently for a month and then start sending reminders – polite ones.

Of the many famous writers based in Mumbai and writing on it, or taking inspiration from the city, who are your favourites?

Kiran Nagarkar is my favourite Mumbai-based writer. There are others too, like Suketu Mehta, Vikram Chandra, Salman Rushdie, Kiran Desai, Anil Dharkar, Upamanyu Chatterjee. All of them have powerful ways of telling a story.

In your opinion, who are the writers to watch out for in Mumbai?

Why stick to Mumbai? Writing should not have geographical boundaries. I think Siddharth Dhanvant Sanghvi is a novelist to watch out for. But I usually read children’s fiction and I love the work that a handful of Indian writers are coming out with, pan India.

(Featured picture courtesy www.selfpublishingreview.com)

 

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Two Pants on fire

Business journalist Meghna and stand-up comic and humour writer Sorabh Pant are siblings and first-time authors. Any similarities end there.
by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

Meghna and Sorabh Pant have been writing since childhood, and it was a happy coincidence that their debut novels were snapped up by the same publisher. Sorabh’s book was published first, and Meghna’s followed a few months later. The siblings were born just a year apart, and though they share so much in common, their approaches to writing and even answering interview questions were very different. In an e-mail interaction with The Metrognome, the duo traced their writing journeys and the creative processes backing their first books.

What inspired you to write your first book? Why this story? Is there an inspiration from real life?

Meghna: The longest I’ve ever lived away from India was from 2008 to 2010, and when I returned home to Mumbai it didn’t feel like home anymore. I almost felt betrayed because I’d been carrying this image of old India in my head as the ultimate truth, while the place had changed to an extent where my truth had become deviant. That was also a time when reverse immigration peaked and divorce became commonplace. There was a tectonic shift of the golden age from the US to India, and a raging debate about modernity versus traditionalism. I combined these triggers as the narrative for Amara Malhotra’s story in One & A Half Wife.

Sorabh: A combination of depression and curiousity, induced by working in TV for too long. Fortunately, I switched to stand-up and being an author, which has quelled all such tendencies. Also, it was a challenge to write a funny book about the world of death – I mean, who does that? Aside from every major religion.

What was the first story you ever wrote? How old were you and what was the story about?

Meghna: I wrote a short story called Aberration which explored love of an unusual kind and this was actually published by a website called freshlimesoda. I was only 19 at that time and absolutely thrilled.

I started writing seriously around five years back, though at that time it was only short stories. To improve my art, I took several writing courses in New York, and after a fair share of rejections, my short stories slowly began to be published in reputed US literary magazines. The idea for a full-length novel, One & A Half Wife, came only in 2009.

Sorabh: I started writing when I was about 11. I was a fat, nerdy kid and the only person who would talk to me would be a pen, so I wrote all sorts of nonsense – it was complete gibberish about owls and pigeons and dreams. I think I may have been a girl.

How did Meghna’s background (as a journalist) and Sorabh’s (as a stand-up comic) help in the writing of your first books?

Meghna: Fiction is a subjective field, all about emotions and experiences, while finance and journalism are objective fields, based on data and facts. Yet, journalism techniques have come in handy for me while creating stories. It has taught me to write economically, within the bounds of reason, while keeping in mind what is interesting to a reader, and to pay careful attention to what’s going on in the world around me. It’s easy as a writer to shut myself from the world, so being a journalist forces me to keep seeing what’s out there.

Sorabh: It’s shaped it considerably. It made it easier to find the funny in some pretty strange situations. I mean, making fun of Pythagoras and flying Elephants was a whole lot easier with the background. Though, after a point I had to pull it back a bit because instincts told me to almost shove in a joke every three seconds. Fortunately, a lot of them weren’t funny, so people thought I was being serious.

How long did you take to write your book?

Meghna: It took a year. I think seeing him (Sorabh) getting published gave me the impetus to also begin work on a full-length novel. I finished the novel a year later, in October 2010. Westland signed me on in January 2011.

Sorabh: Mine took eons. Close to five years. Mainly because it involved a hell of a lot of mental and physical research about what different mythologies and religions thought about death AND also because, I refused to cut down a lot of my content, little knowing it was coming in the way of the plot. The upside is the book is nice and erudite right now. The downside is that my climax is not exactly what I would have wished it to be.

If I hadn’t ended (writing before Meghna) first, it would have been a Chernobyl-like disaster. And, more embarrassing. Thoda reputation I had to hold up. I finished The Wednesday Soul about seven-eight months before her. And, just when I thought she would be off my back, the exact same publishers (Westland) accepted her book. These sisters are very persistent. Taking rakhi ka bandhan a bit far.

It’s interesting that both of you got published within months of each other, and both your manuscripts were snapped up by the same publisher. Can you explain how this happened?

Meghna: It was sheer coincidence. I sent my novel submission to a few publishers, including Westland. Prita Maitra from Westland was the first among all the publishers to respond to my submission, and since she was passionate about my novel, I went ahead with her.

Sorabh was signed by Westland before I even started writing One & A Half Wife. In fact, Westland did not know that we were brother and sister till much after they’d signed me on.

Sorabh: I got picked up by them first. Then they offered a buy one get one sister book free offer. Simple.

Coincidence. And, also they’re good publishers, and both books are good!

How did the two of you help each other during the writing process and after it?

Meghna: Since we write different genres and have different writing styles, there wasn’t much we could discuss in terms of plot, character building or the narrative. What we were able to share were technicals, such as sentence structure, pace and grammar usage. But it was on a personal level that we were really able to support one another. Writing is a solitary process and we gave each other the space and solitude to write.

Our novels came out within months of each other, and we have so much to talk about! Sorabh has been through the rigmaroles (before me) so I seek his advice on every little matter, and he’s very patient and supportive.

Sorabh: She helped me with a lot of editing, I helped her with a lot of backslapping and, “You go, girl” kind of nonsense. Also, since I experienced book launches and readings way before her, I could share my wisdom (read: mistakes) with her. It worked out well – her book is outselling mine. In retrospect, I wish she had been published first. HAHAHAHHA.

What is your parents’ feedback on your books?

Meghna: They loved it, but were very amazed that their children – born just a year apart –write so differently from one another.

Sorabh: My parents are both equally awesome. My mom has read both our books twice each and marked mistakes in plot and grammar with a pencil. My dad has read every newspaper since 1963, so he has little interest in novels but, he read both of ours. They said supportive things about both the novels, they’ve always been supportive. I think their feedback is similar to most readers – my book is more off kilter and insane, so it takes a little bit of concentration to read it, but, if you do – the pay-off is terrific. Mum said it was surprising that I had thought of this at the tender age of 27. But, she’s my mum – she’s legally obligated to think I’m a genius. Meghna’s book is easier to read and slicker. Our folks are awesome, we raised them well.

What are you working on currently?

Meghna: My collection of short stories is ready for publication. I am also in the early stages of writing my second full-length novel based in – and between – India and China. It’s a dark comedy that portrays a family’s greed, lust and power, in the wake of geopolitical tension.

Sorabh: I’m going nuts with stand-up. Currently travelling abroad and trying to get foreigners to notice my comedy, which is weird since few Indians in India noticed it! And, working on the second book – it’s going to be utterly kickass. Whatever I learned writing the first – positives and negatives –with a whole lot of madness. I think it may surprise a few people AND appeal to a hell of a lot more people.

 

 

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Working better in Mumbai: A special analysis

Clyde D’Souza (author of Kissing Ass – The Art of Office Politics) lists five ways to improve your working conditions.

1. Spondylitis chhutti

Stop cribbing about the potholes in Mumbai and make them work for you! Use them as a valid excuse to cash in on unscheduled spondylitis leave. Then head to Goa and drown yourself in Kingfisher beer. When you do return with a hangover, just ensure you wear a neck brace. Your boss will be forced to go easy on you.

2. Flirt jam

So there’s a hot chick in the office but there’s no way you can get her to yourself thanks to all the other despos around. Asking her out would only make her think you’re a pervert (which you are). So the only thing you can do is offer to drop her home – even if she lives in Dombivali. Then sit back in the rick and use the never-ending jam to get to know her better.

3. Mid-week partying

A five-day week is totally unfair but there’s nothing stopping you from mid-week partying. Head out to a stand-up act, karaoke or late night movie. If your boss is cool enough, take her along so she won’t give you grief when you show up late the next day.

4. Bonding over Bollywood

Making small talk with the boss in Mumbai is a little bit better than bonding with the boss in Delhi (political bullsh*t), or Kolkata (more political bullsh*t). Because we live in Mumbai, we can totally ditch boring conversations and make small talk about Sallu’s latest fight with SRK or Ranbir’s latest girlfriend.

5. Mall meetings

Office meeting rooms are boring because they are filled with ugly colleagues you want to punch in the face. So why be stuck in hell when you can use legal means to escape? Mumbai offers a variety of malls with great air conditioning and killer restaurants. Schedule a meeting with a client over a working lunch and spend the rest of the day window-shopping!

About Clyde’s book

Kissing Ass The Art of Office Politics is a non-sloppy guide to surviving and succeeding at the workplace. In it, you will find answers to such critical issues as:

Have you ever wondered what to say to the CEO in the loo? Or how to leave work early or bunk on a Monday?
Or maybe you want to spot the cool guys in the office or are wondering how to cover your ass in an email?

If you’ve been working (as I have) for a number of years, I’m sure you’ve already done some of the above  and played the great game of office politics.

Massaging your boss’ ego

Who to CC and BCC in your emails

How to get away with sex at work

Writing a farewell mail

Clyde D’Souza is the author of Kissing Ass – The Art of Office Politics. He is currently stuck in a traffic jam.

 

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