October 2, 2014 – The Metrognome

Combating ‘people stress’ at the workplace

More than our work, our workplace colleagues add to most of the stress in office. Here’s how you combat the pressure.

by Dr Pooja Birwatkar

The other day I was teaching Mc Gregor’s theory X and Y, which states two completely alternative explanations of how people work. One school of thought says people don’t want to work and only work when under coercion, threatened with punishments or shown incentives. It also states that usually, people shun responsibility and only seek security in a job. The other theory states that people not only look forward to but also assume responsibility towards tasks they feel intrinsically motivated to do. So people are not lazy but they need to feel happy about doing something and if that happens, then they do wonders.

Don’t we all follow both these theories at our workplace? Likewise, we also see people of both kinds in our offices. Sometimes we start off by completely following Theory Y, but somewhere down the line, systems at work bug us and slowly we start responding to the system by underperforming or minimally performing. Come to think of it, what is the biggest issue we have at work place that bothers us the most? The job profile, the nature of job as well as other conditions associated with our work, remuneration, duration and travelling time to offices (the biggest problem of Mumbaikars) are all potent factors for both satisfaction, and largely, dissatisfaction. But if we have to name the most threatening factor that really robs us our peace of mind is the PEOPLE at our work place.

The toughest challenge is in the form of human beings – these could be colleagues, supervisors, managers and higher apex authorities. How difficult it gets at times to manage working with people! Ego hassles, dominance, personality differences, moods, feelings, ambitions, self esteem, power displays – all characterise in varying forms the people we work with. We meet all types of people in our work environments and HR principles tell us that we need to have harmonious relations with all of them.

That, of course, is easier said than done.

So what kinds of people do we see at the work place?

The giants. These are people who mostly know everything and are overpowering. They are the ones who maximally use insults, threats to get work done and are basically the ‘terrors’ in our lives.

Bullies. They use all the aggression at their disposal to make you slog.

The pessimistic ones. Whatever you do, they always fail to see the silver lining. Full of negativity and cynicism, they complain about anything and everything.

The keeping-tabs-on-you types. These people account for your every move and their eyes follow you everywhere.

The ‘goody two shoes’ types. These are silent, nice and always around to help, but sometimes their sheer lack of ambition and being too good rubs us the wrong way.

The victims. These people always feel the grass is greener on your side.

The super workers. They have an OCD which makes them work all the time. Their meticulous nature makes the others feel inferior.

The gossipers. These people keep changing sides and let you down when you trust them with your secrets.

The quiet but shrewd types. These willmanipulate people without anyone knowing.

The dependent ones. Thesepeople are extra friendly but always indecisive about everything, and load you with all their work, too.

These are just a few as we meet many more types at work. At times people become so difficult that no matter how hard you try, they somehow manage to draw out the worst in you. At times we confront them openly, and at other times we wage silent mind wars against them. Most of these conflicts leave us feeling sick.

In places like Mumbai, where daily life itself is a constant source of stress, workplace pressures definitely take a big toll on us. All our meditation and yoga goes out the window in the face of dealing with ‘people pressure’. So what do we do? Definitely to change people and situations is not always in our hand and experts tell us that change yourself and you will be happy. Tune to let nothing bother you and take everything in a positive stride. Phew but only if we could do it.

So what does one do?

Fight it out. But ensure that you can handle the repercussions. Also, your fighting response is a reflection of discomfort and mental anxiety, so you might want to address these first.

Talk it out with people. You will find that sometimes, gossip eases mental tensions.

Hope that the person(s) bothering you disappears. If they don’t, take a break from your desk and vanish for a while with a cup of tea or coffee.

In times of stress, try and summon happy memories. If you have trouble with this, browse pictures of friends and family for a few calming moments.

Be firm when dealing with the source of your stress. It is not worth it if the pressure makes you sick or anxious all the time.

Keep reminding yourself that this too, shall pass.

Dr Pooja Birwatkar is currently pursuing post doctoral research and working in the area of science education. She has been associated with the field of education in the past as a teacher educator, and her area of interest is research in education.

(Pictures courtesy worksmartlivesmart.com, www.rediff.com, work.chron.com)

Review: ‘One Life Is Not Enough’

Natwar Singh’s book on his life and times as a bureaucrat-turned politician is a fascinating insight into a life well-lived.

by The Editors | editor@themetrognome.in

We rarely have any patience with politicians in India, and politicians over the age of 80? Let’s just say, Congress politician and famed Gandhi family loyalist Natwar Singh’s autobiography would ordinarily not have made any ripples on the Indian book scene.

But, as with most book releases lately, when controversial details of Sonia Gandhi’s (mis)handling of affairs and spicy excerpts about the highs and lows of the Congress party began to make their way to publications, Singh’s book One Life Is Not Enough, suddenly acquired a must-read status.

Nor does Singh disappoint. Far from being a stodgy, self-righteous look at the life and times of pre-independent and post-independent India, One Life Is Not Enough is a frank, no-holds-barred account of life behind the scenes of Indian politics. It is also an illuminating look into the machinations of the External Affairs Ministry – imagine dealing with the Chinese Premier on an ill-fated trip to India ending with failure of talks with Jawaharlal Nehru, or being constantly on the ball on a posting to Karachi during President Zia-ul-Haq’s reign. The book also describes in detail the failure of the Rajiv Gandhi Government in effectively dealing with the internal affairs of Sri Lanka, and Singh’s part in the creation of the independent country of Bangladesh.

He also describes, in not very modest terms, his successful organisation of two high-profile, international summits in one year – the Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting and the Non-Aligned Movement Summit, both in 1983. In between his role in several milestones in Indian political history, Singh also gives glimpses into his personal life – his education in England, his marriage to an Indian princess, his friendship and admiration for Indira Gandhi, and the thorny relationship he shared with Sonia Gandhi. In the preface, he writes about how Sonia sent her daughter Priyanka to ask him if he intended to write about ‘the events that took place in May 2004 before the swearing-in of the UPA Government’.

“I said I intended to,” Singh writes. “No one could edit my book. I would not skirt the truth, nor would I hit below the belt. Certain proprieties cannot be ignored. Just then, Sonia walked in. ‘What a surprise!’ I said. Her overly friendly and gushing greeting bewildered me. It was so out of character. It was a giveaway. Swallowing her pride, she came to her ‘closest’ friend to surrender her quiver. It took her eight-and-a-half-years to do so.

“My book has aroused unexpected interest. I am flattered. Also mildly worried. The expectations are sky high.”

See pictures from the book:

With Indira Gandhi and Fidel Castro in New Delhi

Expectations were bound to be sky-high, come to think of it. Singh has been present in the background, and several times, the foreground, as major events shook the country in independent India. He was witness to the events leading to the Emergency in the 1970s, the rout of the Congress thereafter, the assassination of Indira Gandhi and the anointing of Rajiv Gandhi as her heir, the killing of Rajiv Gandhi and the taking over of the Congress by his widow Sonia after eight years, and the subsequent rise and fall of the Congress under the Sonia-Rahul Gandhi combine. In this context, Singh’s account is a valuable one for chroniclers of Indian history.

Besides, he writes with charming candour and humour about situations both in his personal and professional life. Interestingly, he relays even politically incorrect comments and opinions. Sample some of the comments he mentions:

“I once asked Mrs Gandhi what she thought of Margaret Thatcher. She said, ‘What Iron Lady? I saw a nervous woman sitting on the edge of the sofa.”

“I was walking on my terrace one day when my servant came and told me, ‘The President is on the line.’ When I took the call, President Zia, after inquiring about my health, asked me if I was free to have dinner with him that night. I agreed. He said, ‘Could you also give me a list of names of your friends?’ I replied, ‘Sir, your intelligence agency already has the names of my friends. AS for the one or two who aren’t on the list, I would like you to spare them!”

“[Sonia’s] English is near perfect; Hindi is the problem – she cannot speak the language without a written script in front of her. To my suggestion that she learn by heart a chaupai or two of Tulsidas’s or Kabir’s dohas and use them in her speeches, she threw her hands up. ‘I go blank even with a written text. You want me to say something extempore? Forget it.'”

For those outside the corridors of power, One Life Is Not Enough is an essential read on events in Indian history that need clarification. Singh certainly sets the record straight on many points – on how Sonia was forced to give up her idea of assuming Prime Ministership after son Rahul categorically told her not to take up the job, on how strained relations with then PM Morarji Desai posed many roadblocks in his work, and also how his jump from bureaucracy to politics was a relatively simple progression.

Rating: 4/5. One Life Is Not Enough is available for sale on Flipkart.

(All images sourced from ‘One Life Is Not Enough’)