grey space

Published on August 24th, 2015

56

I have two children but I’m still alone

Aniket Sahastrabuddhe writes about being ‘banished’ to his brother’s home after refusing to will his Mumbai house to his children.
As told to Reyna Mathur

You read about these things in the papers, you hear stories of such incidents from neighbours and friends, but you never imagine it would happen to you.

I have two children, both are daughters. Like any father, I raised them with love and did not leave them wanting. At times, my wife would scold me for spoiling them with too many gifts, sometimes too much pocket money. But they are the centre of my world. Since the time both of them were born, they have been the most important people in the world to me.

I gave them a good education in Mumbai, got them married to the partners of their choice with full pomp and ceremony. My older daughter is a Chartered Accountant with a prominent law firm in Mumbai, and the younger one is a lawyer with a thriving private practice. Our home in Andheri was a three bedroom apartment with every modern amenity. Whatever my wife and kids wanted, I always tried to provide.

My wife passed away very suddenly when she had gone to visit her sister in Bangalore. She had never had a heart ailment, but one morning, she just collapsed and died. This was 10 years ago. My daughters were already married and I had just wound up my business (his company supplied parts for mobile phones and computers; he ran three factories and an office in Mumbai) and was looking forward to a quiet retirement with her. Then she was gone and I was left alone in our house.

Everything was great, at first

My daughters rallied around and took care of me at first. I had never learnt how to cook or clean, but after my wife’s death, I started learning a few basic recipes. My kids would also come with their husbands and bring food and groceries, sometimes they would stay over for weeks. I missed my wife but I was happy to know that I had a strong support system.

Then one day, my younger son-in-law suggested that I come live with them. ‘Your house is too big for one person, how will you maintain it?’ he kept asking. What he said made sense. But this was my home. I had bought it when I had nothing, and it had given us so much in return. I refused to move at first. Then my older daughter chimed in, saying that I should stay with them. ‘If you like, you can live with Sai (the younger daughter) and me in turns. Just don’t live here alone. We worry about you,’ she said.

Finally, with a heavy heart, I agreed to this arrangement. I locked up the house and moved to my older daughter’s home in Goregaon.

Then it happened

It was a big adjustment on my part because I had just vacated a large home for my daughter’s small one. But I made my peace with that. I even started helping her around the house. I would get groceries, play with her toddler son (she also has an older daughter), clean up the house when the domestic help didn’t come. I would stay with her for six months, then spend six months with my younger daughter. It was an arrangement I began to get used to, though I had zero privacy and no space of my own.

After a year, both my daughters and their husbands held a family meeting and asked to speak with me. I was literally bombarded from all sides. ‘You should sell your house and live with us,’ they kept saying. ‘You can get a handsome amount of money when you sell. You can split that money equally in three parts (one for myself, one each for my daughters) and we can continue this arrangement,’ they insisted.

I was insulted to note that they had spoken about this without my consent, and that they had assumed that I would sell off the home and give them money. My wife and I had already decided that our house would be sold only after both of us were dead, and through a legal arrangement. My plan was to sell the house, and donate the proceeds towards building our family home in Konkan. My brother currently takes care of the Konkan property.

When I refused to sell, gently at first and then firmly, my daughters’ behaviour changed completely. They called me selfish. They said I did not care for their monetary troubles, ‘which had increased ever since I started living with them’. They even accused me of never caring for them, and only being interested in money all my life. After an entire life spent trying to give them every comfort they desired, this was what they thought of me.

Banished from home

Their behaviour convinced me that I should not leave anything to them. My wife and I created our life from nothing, and so should our children. We did not get home, money or cars from our parents. Whatever I have today, I have worked hard for it. I have already given them everything they needed. Why should my children think that they are entitled to everything I own?

When they realised that they would not be getting any of the house proceeds, both my daughters firmly told me that I could no longer live with them. I was told to go ‘live with my brother’ since I cared more about him. The last straw was when I went to my house in Andheri and found that the locks had been changed. I left from there immediately, bought a bus ticket for Pune and went to my brother’s house. I am living here for the past eight months.

The house is in contention

I do not have the will to fight my daughters. Their selfishness has completely demoralised me. My brother tells me to solve the issue of my Andheri home. But I have no option apart from going to court. However, I am scared of how they will treat me when I come face to face with them. I am meeting my lawyer in Mumbai and hopefully I will solve the problem of the house soon.

I now spend my days wondering what I did wrong in trying to decide what I should do with something that is rightfully mine.

‘Grey Space’ is a weekly column on senior citizen issues. If you have an anecdote or legal information, or anything you feel is useful to senior citizens, caregives and the society at large, feel free to get it published in this space. Write to editor@themetrognome.in or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Themetrognome.in and we will publish your account.

(Picture courtesy www.indiatimes.com. Image is used for representational purpose only. Mr Sahastrabuddhe was uncomfortable about sharing his photograph for this story)

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56 Responses to I have two children but I’m still alone

  1. Charan says:

    Please have courage and stick to your guns. Get a good lawyer and ensure you take control of your house. Live on your own terms. Travel the world, go abroad, volunteer for causes and fill your life without your children,

    • deepa says:

      yes charan. can some young ppl get to gether and help such single seniors?

    • Siji Rehana says:

      Dear Sir,

      I agree completely with Charan. I am forty years old and I always tell my mom who is 65 now to sell her property and stop saving it for us. I Suggests her to sell it and travel around the world, see places, experience the world. Sir, I can very well understand your plight, feel sorry for you. But what you say is right, you should use YOUR property as you like it. You earned it and you have full freedom to do whatever you want with it. Wonder why the children of today think that it’s their birth right what others earned through their sweat and blood. Sad.

  2. Sujit says:

    Don’t ever let them get house for free.
    Its your hard earned property. You decide what should you do.
    I really pity such fools who keep fighting for property which they never created and feel ownership.

  3. Vikrant says:

    Sir,
    My sympathies with you that you have to see trouble at this old age.I can understand that it is impossible to fight court case against your daughters.Mumbai has become soulless place to live.hope god gives your daughter some intelligence and thy come bck to you with all love at this old age.

  4. Ravi says:

    Dear Sahastrabuddhe Sir,

    We are two brothers and a sister. My dad is very grateful to God that all of us are doing well in life and are co-operative. Reading your story I could understand why he feels so grateful. While your wife is no more, you have support in your brother. Please motivate yourself and do what you and your wife have decided for the house. You are a great individual and deserve to live as you wish. Do not be pressurised to act in any manner which is not to your liking. My wishes and prayers are with you.

  5. deepa says:

    1. Can some young ppl get to gether and help such single seniors with free and quick legal aid.
    2. silver talkies, dignity dialogue etc can help with more articles on how to solve such issues including making will early on i.e preventive and later recourse
    3. More awareness of society in giving money to charity and social welfare instead of hoarding for children is needed. or we have cases like this or cases of corruption
    4. baghban was a emotional theme and been some years now. the fact that no movies etc are done on this topic highlights that society priorities are not there in such topics.

    it is really sad that these are girls too! sheesh!

    • Rohit Jain says:

      Completely agree with no. 4 Deepa, and to you Sh. Sahastrabuddhe Sir

      Please fulfill all your wishes and that of your beloved wife as well, do what you had planned to do after retirement, just keep in mind you will always be remembered for what has been your KARMA in life.

      Suggestion: if you have the will and i feel you could do it, start up a group gathering of the people in nearby societies suffering from similar problems, a good number of friends with similar problems will surely help you come out of your loneliness. And with your brother pay the respects you want to pay to your parents s’ home. travel with new friend you make and, i know you might have already tried a lot for this, convince your daughters to understand you and make them realize the importance of a free will old age for you.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I’m a daughter myself who has lost a parent. I can never imagine doing what your daughters have done to you. Putting you in an undeniably difficult position despite all you have done for them financially and emotionally over the years.

    You should certainly take your thankless daughters to court and not give up your house, your lifelong earnings, to them. They deserve to be shamed in front of the world. This is your home and you should have the right to do what you want with it.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Dear Mr Sahastrabuddhe

    I empathise with you but request you, please do not give up. Maintain your stand and take control of your house and life. I know its easier said than done because we parents tend to get very emotional and sentimental when it comes to our children but sometimes I feel such children don’t deserve their parents love, caring and consideration. I live far away from my motherland and my family and I have been abandoned by my sons too. Being alone I was besides myself and cried till I fell very sick and then realised that I was harming myself. Not once did my children bother to ask me how I was doing or come and see me in the hospital and I realised for myself that it wasn’t worth it. I have picked up the pieces and surrounded myself with friends and all those who love and care for me and I shower my love and affection on them.
    I would sincerely advise you to surround yourself with people who love you and care for you and not your money. Since I have no family in this country, I have surrounded myself with a lot of loving friends. Get on to Facebook and make friends or join a social networking system or the club, meet different people and widen your horizon.Let your children be and carry on your life happily – such children are not worth it and we parents ask ourselves – why us ?? Maybe this is a lesson in life we have to learn – so please be happy and stay happy and let them not break your spirit. If they do realise their mistake and come back you will be strong enough to forgive them and take them back on your terms.

    All the best

    from a well wisher

  8. yankee says:

    Your girls are selfish and unkind for treating you this way. It is your home, break the lock and put in a new one. No one has the right to grab your property and mistreat you this way even your children.

  9. Venkataraman says:

    I feel really sorry for you.This is not the first incident I know about and had seen similar incidences.
    I am a senior citizen of 84, Forunately I have no property nor cash, hence my position is different.
    Do not yield to any demands. Once you sell the property, You will be none.

  10. Sujatha S says:

    Very sad to read this. I would never have the heart to do this to my parents or in laws. Will pray that you have the strength to confront your daughters and continue to lead a dignified life.

  11. Smita S says:

    Please tell your daughters that parents are entitled to give only two things to their children (whether daughter or son)…their family name and blessings! Beyond this, if they receive ANYTHING more from their parents happily, then it is their fate and result of their good-deed.

  12. Vinita says:

    Hello Uncle,

    I understand your pain. My father suddenly passed away three months ago. My brother was troubling him for petty issues. And I am sure my dad took it to his heart. I wish I could do something for my dad. Now, it’s only regret and I can’t do anything expect taking care of my Mother.
    I miss my dad a lot. Your story reminds me of him. Please stay strong. Such kids are not worth your love and time. Please create a life for yourself which does not involve your mean daughters. Stay strong!

  13. SV says:

    I am sorry, but I look at this differently. You say your daughters looked after you before you had a disagreement about the house. You yourself say that their houses were small and you were left with no privacy. Your house in Andheri was not in use. It makes sense that you sell it and and invest in larger houses for yourself and your daughters. It is possible that they too with growing families were feeling the space crunch. And what is wrong in asking a family member, a father at that, who is in a position to give, for help?

    May be they do not want the amount to be spent on the Konkan property if they are not making use of it. It could be they are not attached to it to the extent you are. They seem to be wanting to improve their living condition where they are staying in now than on a faraway house used for perhaps holidays? You said you wanted to sell the Andheri house after your death. God should give you a long happy life. That means the house stays locked for the next 15 -20 years. An utter waste of resources, when the amount could be put to better use.

    Why do we as parents think we know the best for our children? I feel we should stop deciding what our children should do or not do. And give in at times. The manner in which your daughters and sons in law approached the matter was brusque. You can hold that against them. But I would not say they are either selfish and mean. A disagreement has gone out of hand. It is in the interest of all family members to try and resolve it. At stake is a lot more than just a house.

    • shiv says:

      Happen to see the link to the post in my news feed today, although its a year old.

      Going by your proposition to sell the house has its own risk – very high risk. What if the daughters take their share and still kick him out. Where will he go with just one-third of the proceeds from the sale, not to mention the stress it will bring. He will be much worse of than what he chose to do. Caring of our loved ones shouldnt come with conditions. The father did his bit.
      We need larger hearts, not larger houses for happier homes.

    • Prabha says:

      However bad fight happened it still does not justify throwing the father out….did the father ever throw away the daughter’s when they were growing up and they had difference of opinion? What the daughters did is purely selfish and no respect for the father and his wishes…ultimately it is HIS money

    • Shabbir says:

      Dear sir
      Please hold onto what is truth and right.Do not give your property to your children. Instead you may help senior citizens who are made orphans by their children. I am a son and I don’t expert property from my parents. They have given me education, values and ethics. Though I have a wife who has estranged me for the sake of my parents property and doesn’t allow me to take care of them. I am leading a similar life at an young age. Sir be strong and fight back. Teach them a lesson.

  14. Rajendran says:

    SAHAJ MILE SO DOODH SAM|
    MANGE MILE SO PAANI||
    KAHAIN KABIR WAH RAKT SAM|
    JAME KHICHA TANI||

    The collapse of family due to lack of those values that need to be imbibed during childhood and youth. Reverence of the parents. Materialism is the order of the day. Sadly that is the reality of life as practised and followed by our youth nowadays.

  15. Sam says:

    Sir,
    My sympathy is with you, I am young 32year old girl. My parents gave good education and moral, made me indipendant. they don’t had money even for my marriage or don’t have anything for their own old age. I am not angry with them, what they gave me is the best education and freedom to think and evolved. My husband and in laws criticized and teased about “I got nothing from my parents”. Instead of listening ” things” I stood against it. I was confident about it, my parents will take me “in” without any question.

    Today my husband is expecting property share from his parents. I am trying to make him understand not to own anything from parents. It is their hard earned money we have no rite on it.

    I must

  16. Sam says:

    Sir, I feel you must go for second marriage and must have good company

  17. Rajendra Kumar says:

    Dear Aniket Sahastrabuddhe Sir,

    It is one of those moment nobody wants to experience in their lives. Its disheartening to witness how lust for wealth weakens the strongest relationship between a Father and daughters.
    I trust You have not done anything wrong while raising them up or being a support when they needed you. You have played your role well considering the responsibilities you have delivered so far. The time has changed and so did the attitude of our current generation. there was a time in India WHEN FAMILY USED TO BE ATTACHED AND TOILET DETACHED, AND NOW IS THE TIME WHERE TOILET IS ATTACHED AND FAMILIES DETACHED. The preferences of the society is getting nuclear and people are getting more conscious on so called “Personal Space” which didn’t exist in our culture. May be this is how the life is at Metro”

    Sir, if you wish to you can relocate to Bangalore and stay with us.
    Life abhi kafi baki hai sirji, enjoy every bit of it… ignore the ignorant and move on..

    Regards,
    Rajendra Kumar
    Bangalore

  18. Vinod Kumar says:

    If they changed the locks, change them right back. The society where your apartment is recognizes you are the owner and has all the records in your name. There is no need to go to a court. If they lay a claim to your house, they are the one’s who are trespassing. You can take them to the cleaners by filing a police complaint of trespass and cheating for changing the locks without your knowledge. I am sure the society will support you on this.

    It is now laid down in law that the property of the parents does not automatically belong to the children while the parents are alive. After your death, you can suitably dispose of your property.

    Sad to see that children are behaving like this.

    • jssidhoo says:

      Agree with Mr Vinod Kumar , after you have taken possession of your house sell it put the proceeds into FDs . Do not give any money to anyone stay with your brother pay for your share of expenses –then make a registered will AS PER YOUR WISHES on how the money is to be distributed after your death . You have already given your daughters what a parent is duty bound to give them love , education i can not add good upbringing because they are trying to extract the last drop of juice for their own father. They do not deserve any more . If i were you i would give something to my brother and the rest to charity .

  19. Dear Sir – I really hear you. I certainly do. Trust me on this.

    I wrote a long para of suggestions but I deleted them because I realized I could not see your complete picture which would doubtlessly be much more complex than I can speculate based on reading this article 🙂

    You don’t have my sympathy because you definitely seem to be an intelligent introspective man who doesn’t need anybody’s sympathy. You certainly have my heartfelt best wishes – that you *move beyond all this*, and find your peace.

    Here’s are some places which I’ve personally found quite peaceful over the past couple of decades http://kfistudy.org, http://www.dhamma.org

  20. Sanjay M says:

    PS: I do not mean to hint that you should give in (finding peace does not mean being weak) but doing what you feel in your heart is truly right

  21. Winnie Saldanha says:

    Dear Mr. Sahastrabuddhe,

    You must be feeling sad, lonely and let down but as they say ‘this too shall pass’
    In the meantime have you made a proper ‘Will’ First get that done in consultation with a good lawyer. Have the contents of the will communicated to all the interested/related parties so that at a later date the veracity of the same is not challenged. If you have the resources – live in your own house (as the neighborhood is familiar) engage the services of a full time or a part time housekeeper/housekeeping service. Take care of your health in body, mind and spirit and do all the things which you had planned with your wife and are remaining to be done due to her untimely demise. Let nothing stop you for LIVING your LIFE on YOUR TERMS.

  22. India to Boston says:

    Dear Sir: This was very painful to read. As I have fond memories of playing with my elders including grandparents all in one joint family home. I hear about “Indian Values” from many Indian cousins and family members… Is this what they are talking about? I have tears in my eyes and a very heavy heart after reading this. I know this has become an national epidemic and disgrace. I am blessed that my parents took and continue to take care of me even now. My father is 83 and mother is 76. We all take care of each other. It feels good. I hope the nation collectively wakes up and deals with this immediately. I am willing to help you with the legal fees and my lawyer friend in Mumbai will help. The folks at the newspaper can put you in touch with me. Pranam

  23. I am an author. I stumbled upon this website while doing research for my second novel which is a about relations between elderly parents and their adult children, their expectations from each other’s in today’s world – an issue totally ignored in our society. It is heartening to note that children both sons and daughters change after they are no longer dependent on their parents and have lives of their own. Those children who were once so affectionate and respectable towards their parents refuse to take care of the emotional needs of the elderly parents in their twilight years. All I can say is – don’t let your adult children take you for granted. If anyone here would like to share their personal stories with me, please feel free to write to me sujata.rajpal@gmail.com. I promise to keep it totally confidential.

  24. Rini says:

    My heart goes out to you Sir. It is very sad that this has happened to you. However, why not break the locks they have placed on your doors, and take control of your house? Why are you still in your brother’s house for the last 8 months?

    I know the attitude of your children has demoralized you, as it would anyone! It is a very difficult task to be a parent. I’m sure you have sacrificed tons for your daughters’ happiness in the past…. However, i would request you to just go back to your house, break the locks and live there. It’s YOUR house! It belongs to you. Being your daughters, does not mean they get control of your house automatically. You have every right to do what you want with your property.

    And if they trouble you again, then go ahead to the courts. But, as of now, I think you can deal with it without going to the law.

  25. Pragnya says:

    Dear Sahastrabuddhe sir, I do not know if this reach you or not. This comes from the daughter of a gem of a man who passed away only two months ago. He was..infact is my idol and my life.When I read your wife’s passing in your writeup, it pulled at my heartstrings. I hoped the daughters would be your support, but sadly that is not the case.
    In our case, my mom is with me now in Atlanta for sometime; same case of my sister and me not wanting her to be alone. She will visit my sister after this. But the difference is, my mom wants to shut down everything in Bangalore and either move to a old age home where everything is taken care of and just keep visiting us.
    My advice (please note its just a counsel) to her, is that , to retain the house, and be there whenever she wishes instead of the old age home, because i know how much she loves for her grandchildren to visit.
    So my point to all this is, don’t lose your independence uncle. I know that the daughters have been mean, but you have to have a strong heart, consider them as strangers who are trying to take away the home you built with so much love with your wife. Also, since the house is yours, I would just suggest break the locks and start living in it….its upto them to challenge you and not the other way around!!
    Hope you get the strength to face this and get you life back!!
    respects and good wishes,

  26. Chethana Gopal says:

    You are doing the right thing Sir. It’s your hard earned money, you have all the right to use it as you wish. You have done your duty as a good father. Never let any guilt trouble you. All the best to you Sir.

  27. n/a says:

    People who behave this way do not deserve to be called children. You have to pretend that you never had any kids. Break the locks, sell the house to a dealer who has the power of force. Put the money in the bank and travel different countries and live out of hotels for a while. Settle wherever you feel like, but do not give up. Make it your life’s cause to fight for people who are in the same situation as you are.

  28. Sridhar says:

    Dear Sahasratbuddhe Sir

    It’s indeed heart rending to read what has been meted out to you. From what I have heard and read in recent times, you are not alone in this situation as there are many other Senior citizens finding themselves in a similar predicament:(

    The consumerism and the need for instant gratification amongst today’s lot means that relationship, respect and dignity have very little meaning and sadly disappeared from our value system. This is telling of our rotten education system where people acquire degrees but no values or ethics.

    Be that as it may, your legal position is strong as you are the registered Owner with clear titles. By changing the locks your daughter has broken the law and has trespassed into your property which in itself is a crime.

    There are no ancestral rights to self generated assets. If anything they may have some rights over the ancestral property in Konkan but not on your Andhrri flat.

    You are certainly right in taking the stance that you have absolute decision rights on what you do with your money. But please make absolutely certain that you will not require any support or help from your daughters anytime.

    Stay strong and live with dignity.

    Before I sum up, I quote the relevant stanzas from Sri Adi Sankara’s Bhaja Govindam song:

    yaavadvittopaarjana saktaH
    staavannija parivaaro raktaH .
    pashchaajjiivati jarjara dehe
    vaartaaM ko.api na pRichchhati gehe .. (5)

    So long as a man is fit and able to support his family, see the affection all those around him show. But no one at home cares to even have a word with him when his body totters due to old age.

    yaavatpavano nivasati dehe
    taavatpRichchhati kushalaM gehe .
    gatavati vaayau dehaapaaye
    bhaaryaa bibhyati tasminkaaye .. (6)

    When one is alive, his family members enquire kindly about his welfare. But when the soul departs from the body, even his wife runs away in fear of the corpse.

    kaate kaantaa kaste putraH
    saMsaaro.ayamatiiva vichitraH .
    kasya tvaM kaH kuta aayaataH
    tattvaM chintaya tadiha bhraataH .. (8)

    Who is your wife ? Who is your son ? Strange is this samsara. Of whom are you ? From where have you come ? Brother, ponder over these truths here.

    satsaNgatve nissN^gatvaM
    nissaNgatve nirmohatvam.h .
    nirmohatve nishchalatattvaM
    nishcalatattve jiivanmuktiH .. (9)

    From Satsangh comes non-attachment, from non-attachment comes freedom from delusion, which leads to self-settledness. From self-settledness comes Jeevan Mukti.

    God bless you to fund inner peace and may you be blessed with good health and long life!

    Regards

  29. N.S.Parasuraman says:

    Dear Sir,
    It is good that you have not sold your house. Your house is your own. Not an ancestral property. So nobody can claim it. It will be better for you to marry again and live happily.

  30. silverfox says:

    I don’t understand why Mr. Sahasrabudhe couldn’t get back into HIS house. He did not give away the house to anyone and he is the rightful owner. So, why didn’t he just break the locks and enter his house?

  31. krishnan says:

    As a fellow senior citizen, I can empathise with the gentleman.However certain things are not jelling.The daughters were nice till the decision not to sell the house.Why assume that they will fight a legal battle ?.He also is upset that he has no privacy in the smaller flats.Old people like me are expecting too much from children these days.When the kids are abroad it is not fair to expect them to come back and look after you.Better shift to a good old age home. When they are in the same city better to stay in an adjacent flat.One cannot be attached to property- especially if you are alone and cannot manage it.Ideally he could have taken a flat next door after selling the house as suggested by the daughters .He could will his new flat to charity after death.

  32. A V Krishnakumar says:

    May God give you sufficient strength to overcome this crisis. You will get back posession of your house. Please stay strong and dont lose hope. Take care of your health.

  33. sudhakar babu says:

    Though they have changed the locks etc, the possession is always with you.The society in which the property is situated will help you to get the property back.Above all, why you want to fight. Spend your time gracefully, in a well maintained senior resident home and hand over the property under dispute (if any) to whom you wish to give. In the coming years , you may have similar problem with your brother too. Keep away from these material things and spend your time with good company of friends.

  34. Dilip Apte says:

    Hi Aniket, My name is Dilip Apte, I just completed 69 years of my life. I am a confirmed bachelor and I live with my 89 year old mother in rented premises. You can come and live with us. I don’t want a single rupee from you or any share in your property. My email is given here. You can correspond if you wish

  35. kumarmanglam says:

    I have worst life than this,
    From scratch i build most beautful home , cars ,farm houses , charity homes for poor , educated my children to best education as my wife was illiterate . But now none talk to me, eat with me, sleep with me, my wife wants to enjoy costly cars , travelling , luxury clothing and enticed my children to same behaviour . i did not provide luxury of costly cars , parties , friends so that they may study and be on their feet than fall prey They dont cook for me , abuse me for hours, torture me, my parents , sister are no more,life has become a curse.
    Any advice, i am alone. I know none of my children will lit my pyre. I ask them what I didnt give them in life, education, AC big home , school college fees,guidance , respect, name , fame but NO, they have abondoned me though they are 17-23 years of age. They want my property , enjoy life, I may be killed one day too.

  36. Jaspreet says:

    I know as a father how difficult it would have been for you to pen this down. .it’s very unfortunate that your daughter’s don’t value what they have got. We are individuals when it comes to deciding whom we want to get married to,what we want to do. But when it comes to property suddenly we feel its dutily there right to give it to us. We can do what we want to but they have no right to do that..shame on such kids who think they have all rights on there parents property..were u the one who earned it. Or did it you bring it when u were born..you made independent decisions so have the backbone to make a property also for yourself..whatever you get from your parents/in laws are there blessings..they are not obliged to u..and if for such monetary things you are letting go of the blessings,the love to your grandchildren..then you are the biggest losers.
    Uncle- you fight this..you fought for them throughout your life…today you fight for yourself..it’s time to live for yourself..it’s sad your wife is not there but it would have been so tough for a mother to see all this. .
    This gives a lessons to all the parents that let us not inculcate such thoughtsof property inheritance in our kids mind.it’s sad that kids are growing up with such thoughts and don’t have the willingness to earn things..I told my kids you want something..you earn it..like we did..and kids should always remember that your parents will always be yours..your cushions..
    All the best uncle..

  37. ruchi says:

    I would like to help this person get a good lawyer – pro bono, of course. Please inform me, as needed.
    May Ishwara give him courage to hold himself through this tough time.

  38. Deepika says:

    Dear Sir,

    I am a daughter myself and love my family (esp. my father). I am a little surprised to read your story. If you need someone to talk to please do drop a message. I love elderly people and wish to fill the space created in your life by your daughters.
    Best is to live without any expectations and to live for God.

    Respect and Regards,
    Deepika

  39. Dev says:

    Sad to read that educated people (daughters) also behave utterly insane when it comes to money matters. They are fighting over something that they have not created.
    Dear Sir, Even if you have to sell the house, use that money for your betterment and things that give you happiness, anyway you have witnessed that your children want only your money, not you.
    God bless you… Peace

  40. KP says:

    well this is really a very touching story..generally people say Daughters care more then Sons…..all Stupid ….don’t put gender in love….

    i think you can do a easy option ..you can take Loan on your property then don’t pay them back then bank will sell the property and give you rest money ..with this Money Travel the world help your Brother also create a charity with your Wife’s name….where other people can donate to help other victim old parents

  41. D Goyal says:

    Sir,
    Sorry to read your experience. Your life is not over. Please enjoy that to best of your ability. If your health permits, visit places. Spend time in volunteer work or whatever you enjoy. And make legal arrangements so that your properties or savings go towards your favorite causes – whether it is your family home, your children, or for anything else.
    If you still have desire to do so, find a companion. There are women in your situation.
    you should not think much about your selfish children. You have done your best for them. now take pride and satisfaction in that and ignore them.
    Best wishes

  42. Elaine Whyte says:

    Dear Sir, your daughters, no doubt you love them, are being very selfish, I’m sorry you’re alone, are there support networks in India you can find support in? You need an advocate to be on your side or they will fleece you financially. Be very careful in your dealings with them, they do not sound like they have your best interests at heart. God help you to hv it all sorted out, and hang on to your house, its your house. x

  43. vidyanand shetty says:

    feeling sad after reading the life story of Mr. Sahastrabudhe… in this Kaliyug we can see ourselves all kinds of people.. this is a materialistic world… it seems his children’s were expecting financial support from their father from day one as they dont have the lifestyle their father enjoys… it seems this issue started the time they invited him to stay in their house and he accepted their offer… Mr. Sahastrabudhe has every right to his property.. i dont think children has any rights over it.. hope this story will help us to understand how life can change..

  44. Shannon K Grywinski says:

    Please don’t give up my dghtrs did a similar betrayal and is keeping my grandchildren from me after spending 12k on our credit card in 4 mths. ..I am alone all the time now….God forgive them…

  45. Marsha says:

    Hi

    I just wanted to say, please do the right thing by your daughters. And by that I mean stand up to them and stand your ground. If you give in, they will never learn that what they are doing is absolutely selfish.

    Letting them have it their way is not going to help them or you for that matter. We will all keep coming back to learn the lessons that we did not learn the first time around. Learning to say no and standing up for yourself is a much needed ability. If you don’t do it now, you will come back again to learn this.

  46. Humayun says:

    Dear Sir,
    It is a painful experience to put up with all this nonsense in spite of being a good parent. You should be tough as this is your property. I have a few suggestions:
    1. You should break the locks .
    2. Involve some society /community members in the issue.
    3. Arrange a meeting and in front of this group tell your daughters that as long as you live you will not part with this property.
    4. Arrange for housekeeping services
    5. Avail legal aid.
    6. Get in touch with social support group
    7. Make a will.
    8. Marry again.
    9. If all this doesn’t work, take a flat near your daughters’ homes and manage all your expenses. But I doubt if they will help you.

  47. JPV says:

    Dear Sir,

    My heartfelt apologies on behalf of your daughters.

    I know these apologies won’t make the situation any better. But just wanted to share please don’t loose your heart.

    I just hope they (your daughters) would remember those times you spent each and every penny on their happiness and realize your love is more important than anything else in this world.

    I love my dad to the core and when I started reading this, only one thing kept was repeated on my mind .. “Please let this end good”.

    Practically speaking, I agree with everyone. You should never let go of the house which u and mom (Hope u don’t mind me addressing u as dad and mom) built with so much love and care. If your daughters would learn the hard way, it’s time to put on the strict selfish man’s shoes and make them realize what mistake they have done. Approach them legally and make sure you do not part with the memories (house).

    And when they can change the lock, you can too. Please move into your house and prove to your daughters, you were born before them. You never depended on them and would never be depended on them in future too. What they have missed is something they cannot get from anywhere.

    Finally always remember that your wife always stands near you. Come what may. And I believe she would say the same.

    My prayers for your happiness forever and forever.

    Lots of Love
    “A Daughter”

  48. srla says:

    Isn’t it parents teach values to their children?

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